I’ve been housebound for the last three days watching tiny little snowflakes accumulate over the foot of snow already on the ground. It has been gradual, doesn’t look like much but over three days we now have an additional 10 inches on the ground. It is sort of the same with gaining weight. A few extra bites here, a little there and before you know it 10 pounds have accumulated. The nice thing about snow is that it melts every spring and the grass turns green.
I have set 144 lb (-65 lbs) as my goal by March 15, 2011 (my 57th birthday). A year is plenty of time to know if I have failed or not with this last straw—the lapband :-( . You see I have tried so many times, like the rest of you, to lose weight, but it is hard to get my head around it finally working this time. I am encouraged by all the other bloggers to think that maybe this time I will succeed so please know that I read and gain insight and strength from those that have gone before me. Remaking a line from Star Trek:
“Banding, the Final Frontier. Its continous mission: to explore strange new ways of eating; to seek out new life and new bodies; to boldly go where no one has gone before.”
I received my sick leave letter from the surgeon (I asked for 4 weeks off and still have plenty of paid leave left). Since I have told no one at work and do not plan to do so, he sent the letter without the office letterhead. I am having surgery at the Surgical Weight Loss Center in Mississauga, outside Toronto. If that was listed on my letter, it would be pretty obvious what surgery I was having. It is really none of their business. Our office thrives on gossip, so almost all of the 200 people I work with would be aware within a few hours. I don’t need the hassle right now.
I notice that a lot of you only tell a few people. I am an RN so many of my friends are in the health care field. When I told one of my best friends who is a Nurse Practitioner, she was not positive and suggested I try the exercise and dieting just one more time after Christmas. I guess after 40 years of starting and stopping diets and exercising like a fiend isn't really enough. Dropping $16,000 on uninsured surgery is something not to be taken lightly either. Don't they get it? This made me think about who really should know. My hubby and kids know but I also told only one of my sisters and my brother and my closest friend since University. I’ll play it by ear as to who else I will tell. The lapband is only a tool to help me lose and keep off the weight. It has no magical powers. I know I have to work with it for it to work for me.
More soul searching to come. This blogging is really helping me.