Thursday, December 31, 2009

Finding "X"

The end of another year, 2009. But also an end to my excess weight. 2010 will be a new beginning you could say and Finding "x". Looking back, it was a pretty good year. My hubby and I were able to travel a lot this year, Australia and New Zealand last February, Cuba for a wedding in July and in October we celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary in London, England. Although I love the travel, I found the weight bearing down on me as we walked the numerous miles sightseeing. I suffered plantars fasciitis and numerous blisters. During our trip to Cuba, I had a good conversation with the bride's mother who had been banded a few months earlier. What a transformation and the sole reason I began investigating the process. I was disappointed that I was not fat enough to have the surgery and considered gaining weight in order to have it done. Can you believe the desperation? I am 55 yrs, 209 pounds, an apple shape and am ripe for dying young because I have high blood pressure, fatty liver and will probably have diabetes if I don't lose the weight. My surgeon was great though, explaining that health issues were also a consideration for the band.

2010 is the start of my new adventure as a bandster. I spent yesterday reading a blog by Gen ( which was so inspirational. I plan to read a lot more blogs as they really do tell our story. I am ready to go and hope the next 6 weeks before I am banded goes fast. I do want to add the importance of reading how others have faired with the band. There are times in our lives when we do a small thing for someone, but never know the impact it made on that person.
Someday I hope they see that their time spent blogging was life changing for at least one person. I want to share some of the insights I gained by reading Gen's blog.

*The Lapband isn't about a new diet. It is a tool that will help. My biggest problem with reading the literature was that they were telling me I could only eat certain foods-no more chocolate, no more goodies, no more fat or fun. Gen realized it isn't the food anymore, it is the way our brains think about the food. I am so looking forward to still being able to eat chili, something which all the literature "banned". I know there will be some foods which won't agree with me but I'll try them all just to see.

*The weight doesn't magically drop off, there is still work to be done but it gets easier and easier when the band is restricting the amount you eat. I almost cried when Gen wrote about her plateau's which is usually when I would drop off the diet (usually after 6 weeks). The band allowed her to keep the faith so to speak.

*We don't have to live high protein, low fat, low carb. I too suffer from depression most notably in the winter and when I restrict carbohydrates, my brain shouts out-give them to me so I can make serotonin and make you happier. Thanks to Gen, I know I won't need to cut my carbs completely. Yahoo for pasta and pizza.

*Gen if you or any of the other blogger's who inspire me read this, know that you have changed a life. I feel excited to become a bandster and know that it will probably add years to my life. To take a line from her blog "I heart Gen's blog". Thanks!

Another turning point over the last few weeks: My 24 year old son has worked with his church every Christmas to put on a production called the Gift of Christmas. This year was a three kleenex production as I cried through most of the show. At one point various people come on stage with a statement of something bad that has happened in their life. They then turn over the card and share the Gift they have received from God. It moved me in a way that has never happened before. One stated they had been abandoned by their mother at birth, the gift was a new loving family. Another stated he was an alcoholic, the gift was sobriety for 3 years. Another stated she had cancer, the gift was health. By then I was on my third kleenex as the tears flowed.

Now for mine: I am overweight and at risk of dying young. My gift is the LapBand and the support I see from those who write about their experiences so others can benefit.

Happy New Year to all. Be Happy, Be Safe and if you drink, don't drive.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Weight Loss Rollercoaster

How does one get off the weight loss rollercoaster after 45 years of dieting. Since I was 11, most of my life has been spent either dieting, thinking about dieting, refusing to go on another diet or just plain giving up. I am tired of the twists and turns and obsession with the number of calories of each bit of food I put in my mouth. And after all these years, where has it got me. As fat as I have ever been. So at 55, and weighing about 210 pounds, it is time to get off the ride for good. I will try just one more thing-Gastric Banding. My surgery is booked for February 10th near Toronto. Will this time work. I am pumped by all the other bloggers who tell me it has changed their life. What the heck. After at least 40 different tries, why not one more. This might be my turn to win the lottery!

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