Unspoken, I Love You's

Sometimes you read a post and just know you have to write something. Again, lovely Drazil got me today. Her Candy for the Soul post hit a spot. If you didn't read it, go now. It's about showing love without the words.

As many of you know, I am a bit older than most of you. Not much, but a bit. LOL. As a kid, I don't remember anyone in my family saying "I Love You" but I had a great childhood. Sure I was fat but it was an ok childhood. I do remember my mom giving my dad a quick kiss when he went to work and also her giving us a kiss goodnight but I don't remember those words.

'I Love You' became very important as I grew up. I remember waiting to hear those words from a boyfriend, but none did. Until my DH came along. He said it first. And I still remember that butterfly feeling in my stomach. Someone actually loved me. Of course I said it back and still do. As my kids came along, I knew it was very important for me to tell them 'I Love You' as much as I could.

But never from my mother and never from my father. I knew they grew up in an era that avoided those words but never really understood. I don't remember my MIL or FIL saying them either.

Then a few years before my mom died at age 79, she said 'I Love You'. It was probably the hardest three words she could ever say to her 5 children. It was an innocent comment from my son that gave her that courage.

My mom used to call about once a month on a Sunday. I wasn't always home and one day, my son picked up the phone at 2 in the afternoon. He had been sleeping, so really wasn't very talkative. After a few minutes the conversation was over but it wasn't until the next Sunday that I learned what was said.

The following week, my mom called and when I answered, her first words were, "Do you know what your son said to me last week"? Now all sorts of things were going through my mind of possible swear words. I mumbled a tiny no and hoped she would quickly get to the point about how I was such a bad mother. Then she tells me that as my son finished talking to her, he said 'I Love You Gramma'.

OK. I didn't really know what to say since we say it all the time in my house, even now that the kids are older. It wasn't til months later when I was visiting, my aunt told me that her and my mom had been practicing saying 'I Love You'. It didn't come easily but 4 of us 5 kids finally heard the words over the coming year. She kept practicing for another year to be able to say the same to my one sister. But she did. It took all her effort but she said 'I Love You' to us all and to her it was probably one of the biggest accomplishment of her life.

So how was it that we all survived and did well without hearing 'I Love You' all the time. As I think back, I realize there were many ways we were shown love without the actual words being said from both my dad and mom. And those are the memories that will continue. Just like Drazil's candy story, she will remember this with good thoughts of her dad because that is just his way of saying 'I Love You' without actually saying the words.

Sometimes in life it isn't always about the words we say. It's those unspoken actions that let those around us know that they love us. The touch, the look, the little things they do for us. Maybe it isn't always necessary to say 'I Love You'. Maybe it really is about those little happenstances that show true love.

OK, you guys. As we head towards Valentine's Day, I hope you see the love around you. I feel the love coming back at me when you send me amazing support.

So I send an 'I Love You' back out to you all.
 

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