Bra Shopping Aversion

For my new clothes (still only a thought right now) to fit properly, undergarments are a definite must. No more "burn the bra" fanatics running around much anymore. Their b00bies are floating somewhere around their belly buttons by now. Or as Stacey from What Not To Wear calls them, "The Girls". You got 'em, so make 'em look proud.

I think I have a bit of bra buying aversion. My current ones are looking like shabby little rejects. The underwire is still there but there are little puckers and folds which used to be stretched thin by my ample chest. Some of the weight I lost was from my girls. I need one that fits and lifts and well you know the rest. I actually went into the bra store last week but chickened out. No time, no desire, overwhelmed. I had no idea where to start.

Years ago, there were only a few companies that made bras and the selection was limited. You usually went to Sears, found one of those matronly ladies named Olga, to help you pick out your box lined up in little pull out drawers. Buying a bra was more of a chore, sort of like going to the dentist or having a pap test. Necessary but not really a fun time. My experiences of bra shopping went more or less like this:

1. Go to store, grab a few boxes of Wonderbras. Hand boxes to the matronly Sears saleslady who kept the box while you tried them on.
2. Enter hot stinky changerooms, undress, look at droopy b00bs, put on bra, bend over to properly place The Girls. Matronly lady would call you dear and ask if you needed anything.
3. Buy 3 boxes of the same bra in white. Sometimes beige if you were feeling risqué.
4. Buy same bra for the next 5 years until it goes out of production (or in my case, get pregnant, get fatter, get breast reduction...)
5. Wear bra til it turns grey or underwires start to impale you.
6. Repeat steps 1-5.

But now. OMG. It's a candy store of bras and all sorts of sexy underthings. With cute teenage girls waiting to pounce as you walk into the store, looking you up and down and hoping a cute guy comes in so they can avoid having to help the old fat lady who they know will need to try on half the bras in the store and will probably leave with nothing. Wow, is that what is called a run on sentence? But my heart is pounding just thinking about going there.

I want my matronly Sears lady back. To hand me one of those white Playtex 'Cross Your Heart' bras or Wonderbra 'Lift and Separate' and stack the boxes by the cash register. I will look like I have a unib00b but I will have avoided the bra buying spree for another few years.

What's a girl to do. Shopping for a bra is just not something you ask your daughter to come help you with. Do I go to one of those bra fitter ladies who feels me up, measures everything, then tells me I am really a EE or HHHH or something udderly (pun intended!) ridiculous. When I had my breast reduction in December of 1999, I asked my plastic surgeon if he could just make me a C cup. He said he'd try. I went out after the surgery and following the 5 steps above religiously bought my C cup bras. I can't fathom any other letters of the alphabet.

But now I have to suck up my fear and replace my poor old bras. But where to start. Yup my first tried and true place when I am in need of advice. I Googled it. And one link led to another til I found what I needed.

The Bra Size Calculator 

It will calculate the bra size you need without the having to admit to the bra lady that you have no idea what size you should buy. There is also a bunch of other information on the site about standards, cup sizes. It will even convert bra sizes between US, UK and Australian sizes. I just did it and it says I need a 44C (US); 44D (UK); 22C (AUS/NZ) (which is a bit funny!). We Canadians use the US system but I guess if a store carries bras from all over the world it isn't so easy to find my real size! BTW, they also have conversions for EU, Japan, Czech Republic and a few more.

I have two weeks before my trip to Mexico. I need new bras. I will do this.

Maybe I'll just start at Walmart. One step at a time. And maybe I'll find a lovely beige one to get out of my white obsession.

Panties next I guess. Although I just picked up a few new packs of Hanes Her Way in size Medium. Joey will probably still make comments about my baggy panties but I just can't get past the horrors of seeing "The Thong". Maybe that can be my next intervention.

And for any of you who would love to see the Playtex Cross You Heart Lady here is the video. At the end they will also show you the Playtex 5 Pounds Thinner Girdle.


 

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