I'm still on vacation/sick time. Still have some pain in the side but it's manageable. I have an ultrasound on Friday morning so hope to have some results early next week. This is a long weekend here in Ontario and the weather is great. Hot, but not muggy like last week.
My hubby works from home and since I have the week off, he was going to take some time off. Not! He worked in Montreal on Monday, Toronto on Tuesday. Was on the phone all day Wednesday and it started out the same this morning til I said Enough!
We need to go shopping for a new bed. So he pencilled me in for a hour trip to the store. Our old King size bed has two divets where each of us sleep and this big hump in between us. It felt like two twins pushed together. Neither of us wanted to make the trip up and over the hump. It was beginning to feel like the Rihanna song called California King Size Bed (click to read lyrics).
The salesman, Gord was a sweety. First of all I had to tell him to stop calling me ma'am. I hate ma'am. It makes me feel soooo old.
He hands us both a pillow and off we go trying out beds. I actually just wanted to have a little nap but he kept us hopping from one bed to another until we found our perfect sleeper.
Of course it's a King Size (regular one, not the California King Size like in the song). It is a pillow top, medium firmness and NO hump between us. He threw in a couple of really nice pillows. I should sleep like a baby especially when we will now be able to snuggle much more without the hump.
We get it next week. I can't wait for a really good night's sleep.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
What I Did on My Summer Vacation
Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. I am now on vacation and I thought I'd let you know how it's going.
Last Thursday, July 21st: I walked out on my manager and did not go back to work on Friday. I go back to my previous job on August 2nd. My exit wasn't quite as gracious as I had hoped but I knew if I didn't leave when I did, I would regret the words that would shortly be exiting my mouth. Nuf said. Put the crap behind and move on.
Friday, July 22nd: Cried a lot. A friend told me that it takes at least 20 positive comments to overturn just 1 negative comment. That night I was at my sister's place for a fantastic BBQ. Drank much wine, laughed and had fun. Dinner finished with a lovely White Chocolate Crème Brulée.
Monday I started painting my master bathroom. A lovely green called Home Song. Began to notice a pulled muscle but worked through the pain. After the second coat of paint the pain started getting worse. So more Tylenol and I took a break. Now I wasn't feeling so great.
Today. I didn't sleep well last night as it felt like someone had punched me under my right rib. It finally dawned on me that it might be my gallbladder. Since my doc is on vacation I headed to the clinic across the street from me and after a short wait, he ordered an Ultrasound and gave me some little pills to stop the spasms. The ultrasound is Friday morning so I'm hoping it will tell me why I feel like crap.
So much for my vacation. Guess I'll go back to work and change my time off to sick time and save my few days of vacation for another time. Now I'm wondering if I will need to have my gallbladder out and if so just when I can have it done. I need to plan it around a trip to Toronto, BOOBS and my trip to Europe at the end of October. And don't forget I am starting back at my old job and would like to get things worked out there as well.
I know that many who have lost weight end up having their gallbladder removed. Funny but I didn't lose a whole lot of weight and I also didn't lose it that fast. I am the same weight as I was last year at this time. It can also be triggered by eating fat. And I have been eating a lot of fat lately, including two Crème Brulée's.
Guess it's age. Things are just wearing out.
Last Thursday, July 21st: I walked out on my manager and did not go back to work on Friday. I go back to my previous job on August 2nd. My exit wasn't quite as gracious as I had hoped but I knew if I didn't leave when I did, I would regret the words that would shortly be exiting my mouth. Nuf said. Put the crap behind and move on.
Friday, July 22nd: Cried a lot. A friend told me that it takes at least 20 positive comments to overturn just 1 negative comment. That night I was at my sister's place for a fantastic BBQ. Drank much wine, laughed and had fun. Dinner finished with a lovely White Chocolate Crème Brulée.
Monday I started painting my master bathroom. A lovely green called Home Song. Began to notice a pulled muscle but worked through the pain. After the second coat of paint the pain started getting worse. So more Tylenol and I took a break. Now I wasn't feeling so great.
Today. I didn't sleep well last night as it felt like someone had punched me under my right rib. It finally dawned on me that it might be my gallbladder. Since my doc is on vacation I headed to the clinic across the street from me and after a short wait, he ordered an Ultrasound and gave me some little pills to stop the spasms. The ultrasound is Friday morning so I'm hoping it will tell me why I feel like crap.
So much for my vacation. Guess I'll go back to work and change my time off to sick time and save my few days of vacation for another time. Now I'm wondering if I will need to have my gallbladder out and if so just when I can have it done. I need to plan it around a trip to Toronto, BOOBS and my trip to Europe at the end of October. And don't forget I am starting back at my old job and would like to get things worked out there as well.
I know that many who have lost weight end up having their gallbladder removed. Funny but I didn't lose a whole lot of weight and I also didn't lose it that fast. I am the same weight as I was last year at this time. It can also be triggered by eating fat. And I have been eating a lot of fat lately, including two Crème Brulée's.
Guess it's age. Things are just wearing out.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Enjoy the Life you Have
"Enjoy the life you have, even though it may not be the life you planned."
As I sit here pissed at the world because of a horrible situation at work, I realize we are in charge of how we deal with the good things and the bad.
Today I choose to cherish the good things about the life I have and block the bad things that are happening.
Last night was a pig-fest. I decided not to crack open a bottle of wine but I did revert to another form of crack for me. My friend, food. Yup, anything and everything went through the band last night. I did a lot of chewing too. I've done this before, using food to drown out the crap and I know it will happen again. I will move on like always, realize the behaviour and know that this isn't the life I planned but the life I have.
I have three more days of dealing with a very toxic work environment. Then I'm on to a new position, new manager, new team. One piece of advice I have embraced was that people don't leave their jobs, but rather leave their bosses. And right now that is the truth.
This wasn't planned, but it is a new door opening. New opportunities.
I have incredible support from a few close friends who are there to listen to my rants. They have been my life-support and hope they know how precious they are to me.
For today, I will enjoy the life I have.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Gumdrop Confessions
Confession. I just got home from Walmart with my new purple towels. Standing in line I picked up a container of Gumdrops.
I paid for my towels and then the guy behind me says, "aren't these your candies". Oh right, I'll pay cash and out I went.
I drove home chewing away, probably 20 of them. Stuck in a traffic jam I decided to read the Nutrition label (yeah like these are nutritious):
Ingredients: sugar, corn syrup, modified corn starch, artificial flavours...
Yuck. On a sugar high right now. All because that guy noticed the container hadn't gone through with my order. Yikes, 700 calories of sugar.
But I now have pretty purple towels and bathmats.
I paid for my towels and then the guy behind me says, "aren't these your candies". Oh right, I'll pay cash and out I went.
I drove home chewing away, probably 20 of them. Stuck in a traffic jam I decided to read the Nutrition label (yeah like these are nutritious):Calories per 4 pieces: 140
Fat: 0 g (Great, fat free)
Protein: 0 g
Sugars: 27 g
Ingredients: sugar, corn syrup, modified corn starch, artificial flavours...
Yuck. On a sugar high right now. All because that guy noticed the container hadn't gone through with my order. Yikes, 700 calories of sugar.
But I now have pretty purple towels and bathmats.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Fill Day and The Zone
I had a 0.1 cc fill today which brings me to my highest fluid level in my band. A whopping 4.5 cc in my 10 cc band. I had a de-fill (the nurse told me it isn't called a un-fill) in early March (-0.5 cc) and have gone for 3 fills since then to return that amount. For the last 4 months I have only been stuck twice. And that was because I forgot I had the band and swallowed a big piece of meat. It's nice that thoughts of the band are not as pervasive as way back in February 2010 when I had the surgery. But you just know the pain that will be coming when you inadvertantly swallow a big chunk. Otherwise, all food goes down easy and I mean everything. I'm now just like Gilly who has never ever PB'd. There are those magical people in the world.
I first want to thank Lapband Girl who posted this list of questions last week. It made a big impact on me and made me sure of going for a fill. By seeing this chart I knew I actually was between the Yellow and Green zone. Funny but the nurse at the clinic wasn't very thrilled about this and actually criticized it for mentioning a large plate. Oy! We just can't win.
My hope is that this fill level takes my hunger away. I've been there and want it back. That magical feeling of not thinking about food or really wanting to eat. It's an amazing feeling and I am so close. And maybe it'll just be the thing that gets me losing weight again.
I first want to thank Lapband Girl who posted this list of questions last week. It made a big impact on me and made me sure of going for a fill. By seeing this chart I knew I actually was between the Yellow and Green zone. Funny but the nurse at the clinic wasn't very thrilled about this and actually criticized it for mentioning a large plate. Oy! We just can't win.
My hope is that this fill level takes my hunger away. I've been there and want it back. That magical feeling of not thinking about food or really wanting to eat. It's an amazing feeling and I am so close. And maybe it'll just be the thing that gets me losing weight again.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Life is Like a GPS
I bought a GPS for my trip to Pennsylvania last May. It got me there and back with a bunch of “recalculating” from Jill, the lady behind the screen. I had my paper map lying beside me and I kept looking at that to guide me. But in the end, I needed her to get me to a specific house (you know the one Barbara lives in) as I didn’t have a map of her town.
Seriously, I didn’t want to go where she kept telling me to go many times, but that is more or less how my life has always been.
You see, I’m a resister and I try so very, very hard to do things my way. Sometimes my way has been good and sometimes not so good. Like the intersection in Bartonsville, Pennsylvania where I looped around 3 times to get from one highway to another because I thought I knew better than the lady in the GPS. That time she was right.
On the way back, I did the same. I detoured off the main highway just to break up the monotony. When I changed the GPS to avoid toll roads, my trip somehow went from a 7 hour drive to 12 hours. Since the bridge between Canada and the US is a toll, the GPS calculated a trip which took me up into Quebec and then home. I think not. Sometimes we have to intervene to figure out where we are going.
I used the GPS last week to get to a training course in downtown Ottawa. Of course, I didn’t like her directions and since I knew the general area that I was going, I finally switched her off. I will admit Jill is very patient, never raising her voice, just recalculating all the time.
So my new GPS has not been used much. I think sometimes I just like getting lost and finding my own way home. But other times, it comes in handy to get us to a final destination without a lot of hassle.
My band is like that. I have been at the same weight for almost a year now, hovering between 168-172 and keep wondering if this is it. But I have this tiny little voice inside of me which keeps saying “You can still do this. You can still lose weight”. And guess what, the voice sounds just like the GPS lady but I still hesitate to believe it can be true. I’m in that Bartonsville, PA loop trying to find the turnoff for the right highway.
As the countdown begins to Chicago I do have a goal in sight. I have a second goal at the end of October when my hubby and I leave for Europe. We start in Prague, take a riverboat cruise down the Danube and end in Budapest. I have all my travel books. Spent lots of time researching on the internet to "learn" about the places we will visit. Lots of walking involved which means getting much more serious about my exercise for the next few months and also the commitment to get back on the band wagon and lose another 10 pounds.
I want to let go, and let the voice keep me going in the right direction. A lot of thinking has been floating around in my head these last few months. Give up and just accept that my weight will always be around 170 pounds. Or keep the faith and never give up.
Forrest Gump got through life with a box of chocolates. I guess times have changed and now we need the direction, like a GPS to help us get to our destination.
I think I'll try to listen to that voice again and believe it will take me to the right place. It's a new month, new goals. I've recalculated.
Seriously, I didn’t want to go where she kept telling me to go many times, but that is more or less how my life has always been.
You see, I’m a resister and I try so very, very hard to do things my way. Sometimes my way has been good and sometimes not so good. Like the intersection in Bartonsville, Pennsylvania where I looped around 3 times to get from one highway to another because I thought I knew better than the lady in the GPS. That time she was right.
On the way back, I did the same. I detoured off the main highway just to break up the monotony. When I changed the GPS to avoid toll roads, my trip somehow went from a 7 hour drive to 12 hours. Since the bridge between Canada and the US is a toll, the GPS calculated a trip which took me up into Quebec and then home. I think not. Sometimes we have to intervene to figure out where we are going. I used the GPS last week to get to a training course in downtown Ottawa. Of course, I didn’t like her directions and since I knew the general area that I was going, I finally switched her off. I will admit Jill is very patient, never raising her voice, just recalculating all the time.
So my new GPS has not been used much. I think sometimes I just like getting lost and finding my own way home. But other times, it comes in handy to get us to a final destination without a lot of hassle.
My band is like that. I have been at the same weight for almost a year now, hovering between 168-172 and keep wondering if this is it. But I have this tiny little voice inside of me which keeps saying “You can still do this. You can still lose weight”. And guess what, the voice sounds just like the GPS lady but I still hesitate to believe it can be true. I’m in that Bartonsville, PA loop trying to find the turnoff for the right highway.
As the countdown begins to Chicago I do have a goal in sight. I have a second goal at the end of October when my hubby and I leave for Europe. We start in Prague, take a riverboat cruise down the Danube and end in Budapest. I have all my travel books. Spent lots of time researching on the internet to "learn" about the places we will visit. Lots of walking involved which means getting much more serious about my exercise for the next few months and also the commitment to get back on the band wagon and lose another 10 pounds.
I want to let go, and let the voice keep me going in the right direction. A lot of thinking has been floating around in my head these last few months. Give up and just accept that my weight will always be around 170 pounds. Or keep the faith and never give up.
Forrest Gump got through life with a box of chocolates. I guess times have changed and now we need the direction, like a GPS to help us get to our destination.
I think I'll try to listen to that voice again and believe it will take me to the right place. It's a new month, new goals. I've recalculated.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Barbara is Doing Well!
Just wanted to pass on the information that Barbara got through her surgery on July 1st and sent me a quick note this morning to say she is
Thank God for drugs!"Drugged up but doing well. "
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