Thursday, October 14, 2010

One Year Ago Today…

I have been struggling with getting a post uploaded to my blog. First of all, I am in shock because my work has blocked Blogger. Egads! I miss reading on my downtime. Now I have to work or walk over to Starbucks and surf the net. Which means I am missing all of you guys. I have been reading some of your blogs and see a downward spiral. I’m back. It’s my fault that everyone is feeling down. Let this be the kick in the ass we all need to get our glow on again. Chicago was wonderful and it really was a hit of some new drug (as inferred by Carmen).

As I move into my winter drink of red wine (ok I just started my third glass), I am thinking back. Join me and think back. Way, way back to one year ago today. I remember October 14th, 2009.
Greenwich, standing on the Prime Meridien. GMT.
I was in London, England. We had been there for about 4 days and my feet were killing me. I had blisters and was exhausted. I had just toured Kensington Palace where they had displayed a collection of Princess Diana’s gowns. Earlier we had walked around Hyde Park and saw the fountain dedicated to her memory. I loved Princess Di. She was married only a few months before me. I remember getting up early to see the entire wedding in 1981 and I still remember the Sunday morning, August 31st,1997 when the news told of her death. One year ago today was an eerie day and I was sad. Sad about a life lost early. Sad that my feet hurt. Sad that I was fat. Sad that I couldn’t keep up physically. Tim and I went back to the hotel mid afternoon and we did nothing except read, ate some take-away and just vegged.
Tower of London

A while after I returned home from that trip, my older sister told me that she had been diagnosed with pre-diabetes and needed to lose weight (she is about 30 pounds overweight). She is a dietician and a mini Martha Stewart cook and hostess. I was mad because she is only 2 ½ years older than me and I knew in 2 ½ years I too would be diagnosed with diabetes. I remember being angry because I wasn’t eligible for the band. I wasn’t fat enough. I then set out to gain 15 pounds so I would meet the 35 BMI minimum needed to qualify. I know you all can believe the desperation. What the F*U*C*K* was I thinking (just for you Joey)!!!

But I didn’t gain. I found a surgical clinic who would give me my band because I did have co-morbidities. I paid. Actually my DH paid. A gift to me. And I still feel like a fake sometimes that I “only” had to lose 50 pounds, but that 50 pounds was like a chain around my neck that wouldn’t let me live.

So one year later I have a new lease on life. I have lost almost 40 pounds. My blood sugar is normal. My sister has not lost an ounce. I have so much left to do with my life, including many more BOOB encounters. And maybe some grandchildren. I miss blogging and will just have to find the time. I have had a hoot for the past few weeks but now I weigh 174 pounds, up almost 4 pounds from my ticker. But it will go down. I didn’t think it would ever get below 200, but it did and the band is with me for life to keep me there. The gym is calling—but not loud enough!

As the darkness comes earlier and earlier each day—the news just said we lose 3 minutes each day—SAD is descending. Jen mentioned SAD and Gilly jumped on board talking about the earth tilting. Things are not the same. Are we in an alternate universe? I’ve suffered SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and depression for years. By Hallowe’en, I really have turned into a witch. I live too far north to get enough sun each winter. Yup. I live closer to the North Pole than the equator (and most of you) and no we do not have snow—yet. But then Santa Claus is just around the corner. And I love me a tanning bed as well as upping my dose of Vitamin D. As I drove back from Vermont last weekend the following sign popped up:
My trip to Stowe, Vt was really nice. The leaves were not at their peak but the small town was a treat from the hustle of the big cities. Which leaves my pining for a trip to the south in February. Closer to the equator. Maybe Cuba or Dominican Republic. Beaches and sand and all you can eat buffets. But maybe snow can again be enjoyed. The huffing and puffing is less and I love my new clothes. My next purchase is a new winter coat.

One year later, I have so much to be thankful and proud about. I can walk without pain. I feel great, even without wine. But wine is fine! My life has changed. I have a huge circle of virtual friends who I could not live without. Thank you all for getting me this far. I want to cry sometimes that you have my back (wrinkles and all)!

I am back. Hear me Roar (thank you Helen Reddy). I need to finish losing this weight once and for all. I want to give myself the best Christmas present this year and lose the last few pounds. Just 10 week til Christmas. Let’s just Do It!

So do you remember how you felt, 1 year ago today?

19 comments:

Jacquie said...

Loved, loved,loved this post Sandy! It really spoke to me. I too sometimes feel like a fake with only having to lose 60ish lbs. i look at so many others who have lost so much more and i am in awe!

I am now at a point where I need to lose about 15 lbs but really want to lose 25 lbs. I'd be happy losing 10 by Christmas!

I've missed you...welcome back!

Barbara said...

Oh my Sandy... I missed you and your posts.. and I walked down memory lane because I too did that whole Kensington Palace thingy, I even went to Harrods to see that tacky memorial they have in the basement (and funny enough my feet were killing me) My DD1 took me to spencer and marks to pick up a cheap but comfortable pair of shoes so I would just stop bitching about my feet. And yes, I remember a year ago.. I was doing my pre op diet and thought that would kill me, but it didnt.. and little did I know the next tweleve months would bring such changes.. one of them being that I got to meet you.. love ya!!

THE DASH! said...

What a lovely post, Sandy xx. To be able to look back and see where you were a year ago and how much happier and healthier (in both body and mind) you are now is such a treasure.
A year ago I had already started this trip of mine and was about at the third way mark. I have lost all I am going to lose I think and I thank the heavens every day. It's a great feeling. Have a lovely day, sweet lady.

Joey said...

Fuck, I love you! And I happy to be friends with the healthier version of you!

Maybe you can read stuff on your iPod touch? Just thinkin'...

Joey said...

"I'M" happy. I really don't talk in baby-talk.

Maree said...

Great post! A year ago I was a month away from surgery and excited and nervous. Now I'm 24 kilos (52 lbs) down and almost at goal - feeling fantastic!

Drazil said...

OMG - I have missed my imom sooooo bad and I love you sooooo much. Never ever go away again -look what happens to us all when you leave!

Band Groupie said...

Love you sweetie...I'm on my third too...the ladder fall has caught up with me...sux to get old! Come down and visit me...there will be snow here soon too, but at least we can get SAD together LOL.

Let's see...one year ago today...Just reached my sweet spot and announced it yesterday...my how life has changed...hope that sweet spot is back soon! Love ya!

Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

Good to see you back, Sandy. One year ago, I had my consultation with my surgeon. I had hopes of having surgery before Christmas. However, my insurance company required the 6 month diet and nutrition program first. I was so disappointed, but in retrospect, it was a good thing for me. I was very ready for surgery in May. Now I am down 55lbs since last year! Great post, sweetie!

Linda said...

I love the pictures and I guess because I just saw you in person and you are so tiny they look dramatic.
We've missed you - maybe we can all start getting our grooves back now.

Oh - I loved Princess Diana too.

Amanda said...

thank you for your post, lifting us up and keeping us remembering how far we have come. One year ago today if I had worked until 8pm like I did tonight, my back, legs, and feet would have hurt. I was embarrassed to go out in public, I hated myself..... 58lbs later I can jog up the stairs to get something, still have energy to play with my kids and still have hope :)

Darlin1 said...

My Dad went to heaven the same day as Princess Di---I will always remember.

1 year ago I was psyching myself into getting the lap band. I can do it on my own---no I can't----I can do it on my own----no I can't. I'm so glad I did it !!!!

Tina said...

Awesome post Sandy! I love London and it was nice to see your pics. I also had sore feet and ached the last time I was there (December 08). I was just six months into my lapband journey and already felt much better but was only down 30 or so pounds.

One year ago today I was just back from Germany (October 09). I was feeling fine. The plane trip was oh so comfortable and I could walk much more easily. I was down 90 pounds but still suffered from leg swelling after a long walking day.

Jenny said...

:)

Jess said...

Missed you!

Cindylew said...

Hey Tootsie Roll...love you and miss you.
Ever consider moving to NJ???

Gen said...

Loved your post Sandy!!!!! Did I tell you how awesome it was to meet you in real life? I knew you were interesting and cool...but what I learned in Chicago is how FUN you are!
Really great post, thanks.

Band-Babe said...

I love you Sandy! This is a fabulous post. You have a way with wine... ooops, I mean WORDS!

Michelle said...

Missed your posts, great one!

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