Struggles are Part of Life

It seems a few of us are struggling with trying to get back on track with our weight loss. I'm here to say, I'm hitting the wall too. I'm up another few pounds, now sitting at 176 pounds. I seemed to have been stuck in the low 170's for so long that it came as a shock that the number had gone up.

And last night when I realized that I had started to gain, I freaked out and wondered if I was a complete failure with the band.

I have my excuses. Too much stress at work. Too much wine. Too many sweets. Too little exercise. Too little desire to actually lose more weight. My cholesterol drugs, my gallbladder attack, my uncomfortable old bed. 

But today was a good day. A positive day. Stephanie posted an amazing quote and one particular line said: "It's not how many times you get knocked down; it's how many times you get back up.” 

So I dusted off my backside and got back up. I called for another fill, although typing this right now, I am a bit stuck which hasn't happened for months. Probably because I am making myself eat more solid protein. I'm on a cancellation list for either Friday or Monday because I am heading down to Toronto to meet up with Gilly and Deborah (all the way from Chicago). Secretly I am hoping I don't get an appointment til Monday as we are going to an amazing restaurant with lots of food and I'll be able to easily overeat.

I know I am not at my sweet spot. Since my unfill in early March, I have been gradually getting tiny fills of only 0.1 cc. I am petrified of being overfilled. I think I now have 4.6 cc in my 10 cc band. I can eat almost anything but keep to the 1 cup serving. But I am so hungry only a couple of hours later and end up eating 4-5 times a day. Those calories add up and the pounds start to creep back.

The slowness is getting to me. But I need to be patient (my word for the year!). I have been the same weight for 12 months. I'll get that sweet spot back and then the pounds will start to drop again. I've had the spot where I don't even think about food, forget to eat and actually have no desire to eat. It is very hard to convince ourselves that the band is our tool but use it we must.

There have been many Superstars of the Band (SOB) who have reached their goal which gives us the inspiration that we too can do it.  We need to resurrect that blog again (Gen if you read this, I'll kindly take it over for you). I also saw the lovely lady who inspired me to get the band. She is 3 years post-band, down over a hundred pounds, slim, trim and gorgeous (love you S!). She did it and I know we all can.

Come along with me so we can all call ourselves S.O.B.'s. And never give up, just keep on trying.

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