Don't you just love the the little lady in the rollercoaster cart with the wine bottle. All created by Jen. The bottle has a picture of a maple leaf (for Canada) with my name on it. Funny little side note: in the first draft, some of the wine splotches looked a little too much like blood splatter so she smoothed the drops out a bit. We knew Gilly would get a kick out of it looking like blood though.
I named my blog because I felt my multiple tries to lose weight by any means possible was like a rollercoaster. The endless diet, lose weight, stabilize for a few months, gain the weight back. Many many times over the course of the last 46 years. Up and down and all around, always looking for the next big diet which would work.
But none of them did. It isn't about the food. I know the majority of us actually know what a completely healthy diet looks like. But the quantity is something I was never able to get under control. My brain was crying out with hunger. But it wasn't always food that it needed. I chose food to soothe me when I was sad, happy, depressed, stressed, tired, angry...
I truly believe that not all hunger is for food. It shows up as emotional and psychological hunger as well. The band has helped control the portions but the brain still cries out sometimes. Why are you doing this. Why are you "starving me". There's a whiny two year old stuck in my brain sometimes.
Living with the band is a tool now for me. Blogging helps me understand the brain side of things as I try to comfort my thoughts with something other than food. It is still up to me to do my part as well. Exercise, eat right and be aware. I'm not quite at my sweet spot—that lovely place when the band is working optimally, when I can forget about eating—but I will get there again.
I actually got the band to help me keep the weight off. And it is working. I have been at the same weight since September. Maybe this is as far as I can get on the scale (170). I don't know. I'll never give up trying. Because to give up is to get back on that Rollercoaster again.
Right now "The Ride is Over" for this Rollercoaster. But I can still stand on the sidelines and watch as others twirl and get thrown around the curves on their quest for a thinner body. They will eventually need to get off too. I reached the end, still smiling. Ready for anything.
I'm just glad I was able to get off before I threw up!
And special thanks to Jen for my new signature block. A few people have told me I drink too much. I really don't. But it's fun to keep the fantasy alive!