Trekking Downwards

This week has gone very well with the band. I had a tiny fill on Monday (0.1cc) and it has taken the munchies away. I can still eat solids morning, noon and night. Not stuck once. And my weight is back down to 172 from the 175lbs I saw last weekend (that number was the day after a big meal, dessert and lots of wine). So for all those struggling with eating your little hearts out, have a quick review and see if maybe you need a fill.

Someone asked this week how you know if a fill is needed. My first indication is NOT losing any weight. Then I look to see if I am eating too much. Check on the first. I have been stuck in the low 170's for two months. And I was eating way too much junk-chips, ice cream, chocolate... I was out of control. I can eat about a 1/2 to 1 cup of protein and a bit of veges and I'm good for about 3-4 hours. I am working on the no eating after 7:00 pm which I find helps me lose. Those extra calories (usually empty) just add up and stall my weight. I do start early at work and finish my coffee by about 8:00 am. I've been taking a two egg omelet with cheddar cheese for breakfast around 9 am and it goes down fine. Somedays, I have to take a bite or two and wait 5 or 10 minutes but I haven't been stuck or PBed in two weeks. Priming my band seems to be working. I can also eat chicken again and solid foods but my all time favourite food is chili. I could eat it three times a day. This time I made it with black beans. I was always a kidney bean girl but OMG, if you have never used black beans get ye to the store and buy cans and cans or them. I rinse them first before adding them to make a soup, stew, chili or whatever.

Today, our newspaper published the different activities for Remembrance Day (that's what we call it in Canada). The photo on the right is of the tombstone of an Unknown Canadian Soldier who died in France. It is now mounted in our War Museum and was positioned so the sun would shine on it at 11:00 am on November 11th. It is a small room for about 25 people. Since it was a sunny, warm day yesterday, it was especially brilliant to see.

I leave with this hope. That we will never forget those that fought for us in the past, those that are fighting now and for those who will take up the fight in the future.

We will remember.

Unknown Soldier

This tombstone formerly marked the grave of one of the 6,846 unidentified Canadian soldiers left on the fields of France and Belgium. The unknown soldier from this grave was removed from his resting place in Cabaret Rouge Cemetery, near Vimy Ridge, and re-interred at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Canada's National War Memorial in Ottawa in 2000. The tombstone now lies in the Memorial Hall of the Canadian War Museum, Ottawa.

Sliming, Stuck and PBing, Oh My!

I decided I had to comment on Gilly’s post on Monday. One line stuck out: “I've spent a lot of time on blogs reading about sliming, and PBs and stucks...and I think that most of us seem to think it's the hallmark of being successful with a band. But I'm not sure it is.” -end quote-

As someone who is sliming and PBing and getting stuck, I will categorically state for all those newbies (and everyone else) that it is NOT success to have this happen. In fact I consider it a failure to properly use the band. I have been miserable for a few days now and have an un-fill this afternoon (just an itty bitty bit). When you spend the last two evenings vomiting, that isn’t normal. I don't want to be bulimic. I have no idea how this band got so tight. I was fine for 5 weeks and then on Sunday was barely able to keep anything down. By Tuesday, I could only tolerate liquids and when I started having problems with applesauce, I knew things weren’t right. Let me tell you, it is extremely difficult to have a rousing conversation with your new manager for half an hour when you are in pain and feel like you want to barf all over her shoes!

**Warning**: The following may be too graphic for some readers. Reader discretion is advised. And please don't take this as any sort of medical advice. This is how I see some of the definitions that have become common in the banding community and is just my opinion:

Stuck: you are merrily chewing away and swallowing with no problems. Then wham an ache happens, then a pain and you know that if you take another bite you will vomit. Your first instinct is to “wash it down with a big gulp of water”. Resist the urge. It WILL NOT help. In fact you will feel worse and most likely a projectile of water will come spraying from your mouth. This can go on for hours and is sometimes followed by:

Sliming: At this point the small amount of food you just ate is not passing through the band. But your mouth continues to produce saliva. Lots and lots of saliva. It is like the taps have turned on. It feels like a cup of saliva is being produced every minute, so spit it out. If you keep swallowing the saliva and the food hasn’t passed through the band, you will then enter into the stage called sliming. Basically, whatever is above the band will now just float out of your mouth. Sometimes your stomach will react to this assault and you will heave. Sometimes it is food. Sometimes it is slimy saliva and sometimes it is just foam.

Update with info from Tina to add: Slime can also happen if you over-eat. If you eat one or two bites too much the food takes up all of the space in the pouch and esophagus. The natural saliva that is excreted to work the food through then builds up on top of that food and causes you to slime. See her full comment below. In other words, you don't have to be "stuck" to slime or PB.
If you were stuck, beware. At this point the lining of your stomach is swollen and can possibly be obstructing the inside opening of the band. Some people feel a lump at the back of their throat and sometimes heartburn. DO NOT eat or drink or you will repeat the sliming or move into the next stage:

Power Burping of PB’ing: What actually is a PB. For me it means a burp and food/liquid comes up. You know when you get to enjoy your previous bite of food again. My theory is that the lower stomach has some air in it. When the band is blocked with food, some air escapes and pushes said food up the esophagus. For some there is a great burp. Others just little burps. Sometimes it feels like those Pop Rocks candies that kind of pop in your mouth. I see it as a good sign, that something is passing through the band. By now you are probably praying for relief but for some of us with “sensitive” stomachs we move into:

Vomiting. Oh yes, been there done that lots of times. When I was pregnant I was nauseated and vomited for most of the first 5 months. In my mind it is the worst sensation ever. Which makes me wonder if my stomach is just “sensitive” to any trigger. A full vomit means the entire stomach contracts and stuff comes up. If you have kids you know exactly the type of stuff when they have stomach flu. When I hear that some people never have this problem I am so envious. But vomiting doesn’t always help because by now the band compresses the upper stomach and when it is irritated the stomach lining gets inflamed and swells, blocking the opening even more. There have been times when I wasn’t even able to drink liquids or swallow my spit. Crisis. You are blocked and nothing is going down. If the swelling doesn't abate you will probably need an un-fill. A bit or a lot depending on your doctor.

I would like to pass on some of the things that have worked for me:

1. Chew, chew, chew your food until it is pulp. And then chew some more.

2. Pay attention to every bite of food (I wasn’t thinking when I was scarfing down the applesauce and was stunned when the pain hit). Don't get distracted and swallow before you have completed #1.

3. DO NOT try to eat or drink anything to push the stuck food through the band.

4. After the episode is over, gently drink some liquids (water, tea, coffee, milk, juice). If the stuck/PBing went on for a few hours, you should stick to liquids/purees for at least a day to give the swelling a chance to go down. Try to rehydrate yourself and gradually work your way up to solid foods.

5. If you continue to have pain, wait it out without eating or drinking anything for a few hours (or overnight in my case).

6. If you have heartburn try sucking on a TUMS (although this seems to induce vomiting in me!) or another antacid. Note: if you still can’t swallow your saliva, hold off until you can. If saliva isn’t going through your band, nothing else will.

7. Prop yourself up on multiple pillows. I also find it better to lie on my left side. I think the way my band is placed, the pouch seems to open up a bit and drain. I usually have little burps as fluid passes through.

8. Always carry Ziplock bags, napkins or Kleenex to spit into. I have just found that those Sanitary bags they put in the bathroom are actually waterproof so scarf a few of them to carry with you. During my worst episodes, I stand over the sink and just spit or sit with an opaque glass as a spittoon (gross I know, but I warned you at the beginning).

9. Papaya enzyme has worked for some, but I have had limited success. I found it just created more acid reflux and then vomiting. I have also not had any success with aspirin or Tylenol.

10. Do not watch any food shows, especially Guy’s Big Bite or Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. The vast quantities of food will make your stomach feel even worse.

And last but not least:

Know that you won’t die. Come on, most of you got through childbirth. If you don’t feel better after a day or two, call your doctor. Chances are everything is ok, but there are some who have had a slipped band, or erosion (both rare). Most times an un-fill is needed. In some cases they do a complete un-fill to give the band stoma and pouch time to heal but in most cases they only need to take out a little bit of fluid.

What can make the band tight: Who knows. I had a 0.1 cc fill on June 9th. I was gradually losing about half a pound a week and then on July 18th, over 5 weeks later began to have problems. The only thing that changed is that I started working out with my trainer and she had me doing a lot of abdominal crunches—I like to think of these reasons so I don’t have to do crunches. I was enjoying about ½ cup to 1 cup of solid food every four hours and didn’t feel hungry in between. I was truly at my sweet spot. When I noticed I had dropped 5 pounds in 5 days, and could only drink liquids, I knew something wasn’t right and I needed to call for an un-fill.

So getting back to my first statement. It isn’t a right of passage, or a cool thing to have sliming, PBing or stuck episodes. I so envy those that have been free of them and still continue to lose weight. So thanks Gilly for bringing this out in the open (I know she loves being mentioned in posts!). If there was an award for most stucks/PBs/slimes, I would be in contention for winning. But the pain isn’t worth any award. Really.

Right now I have about 4.5 cc in my 10 cc band. I will let you know how I feel after getting 0.1 to 0.2 cc of fluid out. BTW, that is a drop or two.

Green Zone and a Crazy Week

These last few days has been crazy. Lots of Highs and Lows. My first high: After my teensy, tiny fill of 0.1 cc last Wednesday, I think I am now in the Green Zone. I don't think about eating or food for hours. I am down about 2 pounds in two weeks. That's how it should be. It took me an hour to eat about 1 cup of a shawarma dinner and I am stuffed. I now have leftovers for 2 more meals. Today for breakfast I had 1 egg, ham, cheese slice. For lunch I had 3 meatballs with BBQ sauce, a cheese slice and a protein bar. I didn't feel like any snacks nor am I obsessed with looking for food all the time.

Yeah for the band actually working. I haven't been stuck or pb'd which is really good, although I have some restriction and have to chew well and take my time. So if your clinic gives you grief about fills, stick to your guns. You know your body and how it is working. I am now hoping the scale will follow suit. And I still have another 0.1 cc waiting for me if I think I need it!

More Highs. Last Monday I started a new Team Lead position in my current building. On Thursday I interviewed for another position, still with the government, At the end of the 45 minutes I was offered the job which I accepted. New beginnings in a couple of weeks and relocating to a new building. It is a lateral move but at least I will be busy. The best part is that it is only a 10 minute drive from home, across the street from a huge IKEA store, Starbucks, an Indigo Bookstore and a shoe store. And did I say, it is only a 10 minutes from home. Someone suggested I ride my bike—Ha Ha—not me! I left the interview and proceeded to my going away lunch with the group I had left only days before. After my fill I was worried about eating fajitas so ordered a bowl of chili, which I couldn't finish. While I was away, my stuff was re-located to my new office for the job I had started a few days earlier. It had a door, meaning a private office! So rare in the sea of cubicles. I was able to enjoy 12 hours before I had to move back to my previous cubicle on Friday. But not before shutting the door and making a bunch of personal phone calls. It made my day!

I was floating on a cloud but then what was a day of Highs turned into a terrible Low. Leaving my private office last Thursday, I went to the gym to meet with my personal trainer. Second week at the gym and my luck finally ran out. After my workout, my lock wouldn't open. Thinking I had just forgotten the combination (age thing you know), I had to call my daughter to pick me up and take me home to get the combination. Still wouldn't open, so they cut the lock and the locker was empty. Yup, someone had cut my lock, stole my gym bag and put another lock on the locker. I was devastated. My iTouch and the keys to my car were gone. Nothing else but a dirty towel, BUT the girl told me to go check my car. It was open so I assume the thief had opened the car. My Coach purse was still there in the back as was my wallet and all my cards and nothing else seemed out of place. The gym girl told me I should cancel my credit card as she knew that sometimes they just write down numbers and use them on-line.

I finally got home 4 hours later, cancelled all my cards and couldn't eat a thing, although I forced a glass of milk down. Today I went back to the gym to get my temporary membership card and almost had a panic attack. I had to have them transfer my 4 hours of personal training to another club as I am afraid to leave my car parked at that club. It will cost us over $500 to replace the remote, change the code, rekey the car and another $200 to replace the iTouch. With deductibles, it isn't worthwhile to make a claim on our insurance. I have asked for some compensation from Goodlife (the gym) but don't hold out much hope. They have multiple clubs and I will go to the one near my home. I will now have to come home, change and not take anything with me. I will carry my keys and iPod with me all the time. They told me this happened before so be wary about keeping your car keys in a locked locker.

The last low is a good low. I saw 181.4 on the scale but will wait to change my ticker. On June 1st I was 184 so something is working. Keep it up band. I love u.

Today is an “F” Day

No. Not me. I’m a refined lady today. But a lot of you are using the F word. Stephanie with her Fiber Farts, Draz with her F*cking day, Jess with her Who-gives-a-frack-day! We have Cindylew’s Funny knock knock joke (I think you had to be there), Shea excited for all her new Followers, lots of pictures of Food, Gilly’s Favourite snack (notice the “u” in the F word that we use up here), some bloggers are Feeling yucky and Barbara is Feeling good.

And lots of Fills. I had a fill today so I guess I had an effing good day. I had 0.1 cc added even though the clinic said to add 0.2. No way. I can go back and get the other 0.1 cc whenever I want. It’s mine even though I will have to pay for it.

I calculated that 0.1 cc is equal to 1/10th of 1/5 of a teaspoon or ~1/50 teaspoon for those with limited math skills —maybe a drop. Surprising that so little can make such a difference. Here’s to being in the Green Zone, for more than a few days. So have yourself a great F-day whatever your F is today as long as it isn't Fattening Food!

Did You Know We ARE Supposed to 'Diet'!

So I am a little peeved today. After all this time, I was told today by the nutritionist at the surgical clinic that yes, I should be counting calories and measuring my food and yes, those that lose weight usually kept under 1200 calories. And yes, you are only supposed to eat 1 cup of food three times a day and it is to keep you full and no the band isn't really going to keep you from getting hungry. WTH? Did I miss the memo or something. This started on Wednesday when I realized I have only lost 1 pound since my last fill. I only get teeny, tiny fills (0.1 cc or 0.2 cc). I think I have about 4.2 cc in my 10 cc band. Although I have to be careful to chew well, I can eat everything. Absolutely no problems getting anything down and I keep to the 1 to 1.5 cups. And all I think about is food so I thought I should have another teeny, tiny fill. I have a local doctor do my fills, so first I must send a request for a fill to my surgical clinic 5 hours away. They then send my doc the information to "fill" me. I then book an appointment with my doc. Long story short, I received conflicting information from the nurse and the nutritionist which led to a phone call today from the nutritionist (the idiot turd) and this is when all the points in the first paragraph were relayed to me. She implied that I have not been following the low cal diet and maybe, just maybe I had some mental problems. Of course I am completely insane, but what does that have to do with me not losing weight. The F* word slipped out a couple of times in frustration but not directly at her. She doesn't seem to have a clue about the band and eating. Now Gilly goes to the same clinic as I do and maybe she has had better counselling. I just don't think they know much when it comes to their long-distance clients. I told her my biggest fear is that after losing 30% of my excess weight that this was it. She didn't say anything. Does that mean I have spent over $16,000 to lose a measly 10 pounds since surgery! I don't think so. I am so mad, I will lose weight just to spite them. Guess that will show them!

So I have decided to listen to all of you because you have much better information. I know when the band is correctly filled, you won't notice hunger. I know this because I have experienced the no hunger for many hours and have forgotten to eat. I just want to be at my "green zone" where the band is controlling my intake and I know I am close. I did forget to eat lunch yesterday until almost 3 pm. I don't want to count calories or write down what I eat. That was for all those diets which never worked. It might work for others but not me!

I other good news, I went to the gym again on Thursday and tried the elliptical. What a workout that is. I meet with the personal trainer on Tuesday and Thursday next week so hope to get a program for weights. I told her I didn't want the nutrition speech which takes an hour and she agreed we could move right into setting up a program for me. Today I did about 2 hours of gardening and finally got most of my plants in the ground. It is supposed to rain all weekend which will give them a good drink. I have upped my protein intake and after about 30 years, tried cottage cheese again. Wow, it is really good, especially when covered with salt and pepper. I also tried turkey bacon and although it is a bit of a chew, it can certainly substitute for bacon when I make waffles in my new waffle maker. Tonight I am alone, but I bought the Alice in Wonderland DVD so will watch it later.

OK, I'm calmer now. It was either blog or have wine. Since I am on a "diet" I'm not supposed to drink. BTW, I go for the fill on Wednesday and talk to my real doc and ask his advice because I trust him. As long as they sent the e-mail telling him it is ok to give me a teeny, tiny fill.

Hoping you all have a wonderful weekend.

Fill Effects and Great Kids

I had a small fill on Monday and so far am not sure if I feel much different. My weight is down slightly (< half a pound) so will have to wait and see. This morning I decided to get an egg and toast from the cafeteria at work. I was eating with one of my co-workers and started to feel a bit stuck so stopped eating and began chatting like crazy so he wouldn't notice me not eating (this is normal for me!). When I looked at my plate I realized I had scarfed half a piece of the toast without thinking. After a minute or two I was able to finish most of the egg and another bit of toast but chewed it to pulp. I usually don't eat so early in the morning but wanted to try some solids. I find breakfast hard to figure out because I get ravenous by 10:30 in the morning if I only eat a bit of oatmeal or a protein shake. We'll see if this keeps me satisfied for 4 hours.

Last night my hubby and I went to a local pub. Of course the food there sucks so I started on a pint of beer. Yeah! I can drink beer again (hmmm—maybe that's why my weight isn't down much). I ordered a bowl of taco soup and an order of sweet potato fries. The server came back to say they only had a half order of fries left, but they will make them for me and not charge me. Another karma moment. I really only wanted half an order and was going to make hubby eat most of them anyway. So I got my small taste and didn't have to pay for them. Yeah again.

I have been keeping up with many blogs this week even if I haven't commented too much. But I am worried. I haven't seen many funny posts, you know the ones that have you spitting water out the nose. I am getting a bit down and need some cheering up, so come on guys, I need my daily laugh. I know you can do it! Let's get our funny on.

I had never heard of Cinco de Mayo that everyone was talking about yesterday but am always up for a good party. We can make anyday a celebration. This Sunday is Mother's Day in Canada (always the 2nd Sunday of May) for those wondering. Not sure what we will be doing that day, but my daughter (braveheart) did leave me a lovely comment on one of my posts, so I am posting it for everyone to see.

"To all those who follow my mom and are BOOBs (I love that acronym btw), congratulations on your journey. It is a choice that was most likely hard to make, but once you commit to something (whether banding or another option), you must stick with it and draw inspiration from those around you to stay committed. I hope my mom is one of those people for you, I know she is for me."

I have great kids! Which means, I don't need to get a card because that comment was better than any Hallmark. Sometimes Mother's Day is also a day to appreciate the good in our kids. They got there because of us. Although I did call her and ask her if she really meant it! Her answer was yes, so it made my day.

Plateauland, Inches Lost and a Fill

I have been in plateauland for the last month, down a measley 1 pound for the month of April. But I’ll take it because at least I didn’t gain!

Feeling a bit frustrated (even with everyone’s kind words that it will get better), I decided to take my measurements. WOW! My starting measurements were January 5th, 2010 and 4 months later I have lost a total of 19 inches. I am most proud that my beer belly is down significantly. My pants are also sliding off my butt and I am now into clothes that I haven’t been able to wear for years. Another 10 pounds and I will need a small shopping trip for some summer clothes. I hope everyone took their starting measurements as it gives such a boost. My stats are at the bottom of my blog. And no, this picture isn't of me. I'm not blond.

I had a fill on Monday afternoon and hope this restarts the weight loss. It was a tiny 0.25 cc added which means I am still under 4 cc in a 10 cc band. I have to take it slow as I had problems going up too fast. I was on liquids last night and have had scrambled eggs and toast this morning. So far I haven’t felt a lot of hunger and hope it holds.

Best news is that I have booked the hotel room for Chicago minutes ago. 4 months, 2 weeks, 6 days to go!

Second First Fill

On Monday I had a small 0.5 cc fill. Since my unfill and topup last week back to 3 cc (which is what I had at surgery over two months ago), I now have 3.5 cc in a 10 cc band so I guess this is really my second first fill. I think I have a bit of restriction as I am not crazy eating like I was on the weekend. So far today I have only had a protein shake around 8:30 and then 1 cup of chili at 11:30 and I feel satisfied. I hope this helps knock off a few pounds since I have been stuck at the same weight for the past month. I feel Gen's pain of being in plateauland. Since I had so many problems when I had 4 cc in the band, we will only go up in small increments each time (like 0.25 cc). 
I am trying to figure out if I should just book a fill in two weeks or wait to see if this fill works. What do you do? Pre-book your fill appointments or just play it by ear and book when you think you need one. I am so confused. Hurry up BG and get that book written.

On another note, 2/3 of my family is stuck on the other side of the world. DH is in Manila and my DS is stuck in South Africa. They were both supposed to fly back this coming weekend so I am hoping the flights get back on schedule. My DS flies through Frankfurt which is still reduced and the flights from the far east are jammed with people taking alternate flights back to North America. They'll get here, but I miss them.

Sale on Fills and Missing My Boys

Fills:
I thought I would post about my second “first” fill. A little summary first. I was banded on February 10th and had 3 cc in my band. I had my first fill on March 9th, when Dr. Doug put it up to 4 cc. On March 22nd, after many days of PBing and vomiting I went sobbing back to his office and he took out fluid (Click here to read about that). Two weeks of letting my stomach heal and I was back for a refill last Wednesday (at 8 weeks post-op). I am now back to 3 cc, the same amount I had at surgery. It sucks. I have a bit of restriction again but am getting hungry every 2-3 hours. So I don’t know if I’ve even had a first fill—I failed my first and gained a couple of pounds—that d*mn gravity pull thing everyone was talking about last week—hex on it.

I am taking it slow. Next time I see him I will ask for just 0.5 cc. I think it best to take it gradual given my problems the last time. Dr. Doug also told me that there are a few who will hit their “sweet spot” with only a few little fills. I will gauge what I need by looking at my weight loss. I have basically been stuck at the same weight for the last two weeks but am down a smidgen of weight (0.4 lbs) today. I’ll see if this refill will help. The good news is Dr. Doug has dropped his fill charge from $75 to $50. A 33% off sale. I love sales. Just so you know, I use a local doctor for my fills as it is a 5 hours drive to the surgical clinic where they are free. I think my doc here is giving me a break because I also see his nurses for nutrition counselling and pay for those visits ($15 every few weeks).

Missing My Boy #1
My son is one of the wonders I created (along with his older sister). I’ll give some credit to DH because I did need his “input” for those few seconds. If you take the “S” off my name, you can guess his name. He’s always been called by this short name unlike my male follower in UAE (did you guess the name yet?—please don’t put it in any comments). Anyway, Little A is now 24 and left for South Africa two weeks ago. He and a friend (who is originally from South Africa) are having a bit of a vacation and doing some mission work in Durban this week so I haven’t heard from him—I’m sure there aren’t many wireless networks around the area. LOL. My son is very involved with the Pentecostal church. In his teens, he began with the youth group and just embraced the church as his second family. Neither my husband nor I attend church so it is a with a bit of amazement that we raised this pretty cool kid.

He was in South Africa three years ago with his youth group for some mission work in Swaziland. They helped a village build a well for clean water and other odd jobs needed by the communities. It wasn’t a “go in and take over” but a “we can help with what you need done with this little bit of money”. They had raised a few thousand dollars from garage sales—I donated a ton of stuff and it helped me clear out my clutter. I felt good that it was going to a good cause but it also de-cluttered my life in the process. Only a few hundred dollars brought clean water to a small village. Suitcases of clothes and some medical supplies were also taken on the trip. My son told me what a great experience Africa was to him. We sometimes forget the size of this world and feel helpless. But it only takes one act of kindness to change a life. The little boy in the first picture smiling from ear to ear. For a few hours he had some visitors who cared and they left him with some warm clothes, food and a few dollars. And a village has clean water to drink. That is what mission work is--there is no bible thumping or sermonizing. It is the simple acts of kindness that people do for each other.

Beautiful smile! This child (about 10 yrs old) was raising his two younger brothers and caring for his sick grandmother. His mother had died of AIDS.

Here are some of the villagers.

Water source for the Village. Villagers would fetch this water, boil it, and then drink it. The animals also drank directly from this pond.

The end result. With a few dollars and help from all the villagers a nice stone path was built to get to the plastic barrel serving as a well to hold filtered spring water and keep it separated.

 To the left is my son with the grandson of the lady where they stayed.

The trip wasn't just work and no play for the group. They also had some fun sightseeing in Kruger National Park and along the southern coast around Capetown. I’ve included these pictures as I think they are beautiful and I am so proud of my little baby. He is making a difference in this world, one tiny bit at a time. He’ll be back home at the end of April but mom’s have the right to miss their babies no matter how old they get.

The coast of South Africa where the Atlantic meets the Indian Ocean.

Missing My Boy #2

My DH is leaving on Tuesday for a business trip to China and the Philippines. So Boy #2 will be gone for two weeks and I will have no one around to tempt me with lovely dinners. Right, LOL. My DH is much better at pouring wine than he is at cooking. When we first met he made me Coquille St. Jacques (scallops in cream sauce with mashed potatoes). Amazing. It wasn’t until we married that I found out it was his only recipe. Oh well, he’s good in bed!  I’ll miss him too but will sleep like a baby!

So for the next while I’ll have to depend on my blogger friends to keep me company. I mentioned in a comment that reading the blogs is like following a soap opera. I can’t wait to find out what the next episode will be. This past week had many revealing posts and it helped me see further into everyone’s lives and my own. I feel like a voyeur at times. I guess we should all get ready for our summer hiatus and a cliff hanger post (Noooooo!). I also love that I have gotten to know a bit of your lives. But for those who find it hard to post revealing parts of themselves, it doesn’t matter. We are a community that accepts everyone—tell as much or as little as you want. Someone mentioned a worry about being judged—never! You have become my kids, my sisters/brothers but mostly my friends. I hope you let the old lady hang around and enjoy this ride a bit more.

And one more request. If you are following me, please leave me a comment with a link to your blog if you have one. I can't find the link in your profile and would love to follow you.

Un-Filled

I just got back from my Doctor where I waited in tears for an unfill. I told him to take it all out, but I’m sure he left some in. I had my first fill two weeks ago, where he added 1 cc to the 3 cc that were there at surgery. So one would think, I wasn’t even close to a “sweet spot”. But what a weekend I had. I'm pretty sure I have the 10 cc Lap Band VG (the one with the little pockets in the right photo)—that is the one he showed me.

Last Tuesday, I had a problem keeping food down so was on fluids, gradually working back up to soft foods by Thursday. Friday seemed fine so I didn’t call the doctor for an unfill. Then one lousy bite of chicken did me in after the meatloaf and squash I had for dinner on Friday. Saturday was no better—12 hours of vomiting—and I hadn’t even eaten anything. Sunday, I could only sip on some water and broth and the spasm pain around the band was bad. I couldn’t even swallow anything for pain. I had been dissolving two aspirin in some water but just that small gulp of liquid wasn’t staying down. I was only able to sleep with 4 pillows propping me up and leaning on my left side. I was sure the band had slipped and that my stomach was going to be squished in two. My doctor assured me that it was almost impossible for the band to slip as they suture it in place. Amazing the things that go through your head when you are in pain.

By Sunday night. I was ready to grab a knife and tear out the band. I was so unhappy that I had done this stupid, stupid surgery. I was in countdown mode until 8:00 am when my doctor’s office opened. After finding out he was actually in the office and could give me an unfill, I burst into tears. Afterwards, he also gave me his emergency contact number to call in case this happened again—a number he had forgotten to give me at my last appointment. So it is back to square one (no Gilly—not the mall). Most of the weekend I kept thinking back to when I was pregnant—I was nauseated and threw up for most of my two pregnancies. I remember then thinking that throwing up is the worst feeling in the world. It still is.

I am off work again today. Pretty weak—but so would anyone that has dropped 8 pounds in a few days. I know I am pretty dehydrated so will be drinking fluids most of the day. Right now the inside of my stomach is so inflamed, I need to take it easy and slow. I want to get this right, but also want to be able to eat my food, not drink it. I feel like I am back on the pre-op diet, b!tchin’ and complaining. I only read a couple of blogs over the weekend but gave up when I noticed a few postings about Chinese Food, subs, pizza and other good things to eat. That got my stomach growling and the pain started so I had to stop reading. I do hope you all enjoyed your food. I am so envious.

I am working on patience—not my strong suit—it took me years to get to this weight and maybe I need to remember that I am only 6 weeks out of surgery. I have to take each pound as it comes and give it time and work with this band (my buddy). It’s being very stubborn right now so I need to make friends with it again. I’m sorry, little Buddy, I really didn’t mean it when I said I wanted to cut you out. Can we make up and be friends again?

First Fill

I had my first fill two hours ago. It took the doc 4 tries with the needle to find the port but it didn’t hurt. The most pain came from him poking around trying to find the port with his fingers. There were already 3 cc in it from surgery and he added another cc so I hope it will give me some help to lose a few pounds in the next couple of weeks. I drank some water, burped and off I went.

An hour ago I drank a cup of tomato soup with no problem. I just finished eating some small crackers with a bit of chicken salad. I’m also listening to everyone to chew, chew, chew and have patience and take my time. So far so good but I can feel a bit of pressure already. Happy to be moving forward.

I just had to add this link. A glass of wine may keep women from gaining weight, study says . I knew it! I am so happy and may pop open a bottle!