Un-Filled

I just got back from my Doctor where I waited in tears for an unfill. I told him to take it all out, but I’m sure he left some in. I had my first fill two weeks ago, where he added 1 cc to the 3 cc that were there at surgery. So one would think, I wasn’t even close to a “sweet spot”. But what a weekend I had. I'm pretty sure I have the 10 cc Lap Band VG (the one with the little pockets in the right photo)—that is the one he showed me.

Last Tuesday, I had a problem keeping food down so was on fluids, gradually working back up to soft foods by Thursday. Friday seemed fine so I didn’t call the doctor for an unfill. Then one lousy bite of chicken did me in after the meatloaf and squash I had for dinner on Friday. Saturday was no better—12 hours of vomiting—and I hadn’t even eaten anything. Sunday, I could only sip on some water and broth and the spasm pain around the band was bad. I couldn’t even swallow anything for pain. I had been dissolving two aspirin in some water but just that small gulp of liquid wasn’t staying down. I was only able to sleep with 4 pillows propping me up and leaning on my left side. I was sure the band had slipped and that my stomach was going to be squished in two. My doctor assured me that it was almost impossible for the band to slip as they suture it in place. Amazing the things that go through your head when you are in pain.

By Sunday night. I was ready to grab a knife and tear out the band. I was so unhappy that I had done this stupid, stupid surgery. I was in countdown mode until 8:00 am when my doctor’s office opened. After finding out he was actually in the office and could give me an unfill, I burst into tears. Afterwards, he also gave me his emergency contact number to call in case this happened again—a number he had forgotten to give me at my last appointment. So it is back to square one (no Gilly—not the mall). Most of the weekend I kept thinking back to when I was pregnant—I was nauseated and threw up for most of my two pregnancies. I remember then thinking that throwing up is the worst feeling in the world. It still is.

I am off work again today. Pretty weak—but so would anyone that has dropped 8 pounds in a few days. I know I am pretty dehydrated so will be drinking fluids most of the day. Right now the inside of my stomach is so inflamed, I need to take it easy and slow. I want to get this right, but also want to be able to eat my food, not drink it. I feel like I am back on the pre-op diet, b!tchin’ and complaining. I only read a couple of blogs over the weekend but gave up when I noticed a few postings about Chinese Food, subs, pizza and other good things to eat. That got my stomach growling and the pain started so I had to stop reading. I do hope you all enjoyed your food. I am so envious.

I am working on patience—not my strong suit—it took me years to get to this weight and maybe I need to remember that I am only 6 weeks out of surgery. I have to take each pound as it comes and give it time and work with this band (my buddy). It’s being very stubborn right now so I need to make friends with it again. I’m sorry, little Buddy, I really didn’t mean it when I said I wanted to cut you out. Can we make up and be friends again?