Dizzy and Worried

Saturday didn't go so well. The shakes are going down well but by mid afternoon I stood up and almost passed out which worried me. I should have taken my blood pressure but rode it out.  I finally got up slowly and took a potassium supplement and then had 4 saltine crackers with a bit of peanut butter. I think my sodium is low after 4 days of pee'ing every 3 hours! Felt much better and didn't feel guilty with taking in a bit of carbs.

We were invited to my BIL/SIL for dinner and I told her I would only eat the chicken breast which was fine with them. She's trying to lose some weight too. I brought a huge pan of low carb veges (asparagus, broccoli, brussel sprouts, mushrooms, onions, garlic) with a little olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a bunch of herbs and spices. They started with a bowl of pasta, as I sipped diet Iced Tea and then we had the main course and salad. The salad had a few pinenuts in it but I decided I certainly wasn't cheating. Cheating would be eating the bowl of pasta. Afterwards we went to another BIL/SIL (that I really don't like much) as they had invited all 4 of us for dessert for BIL's birthday. Some sort of creamy pineapplely thingy. I had no problem saying no thanks as it is something I have never liked anyway. It is funny to see everyone's reactions when you say no thanks to something. I was offered all sorts of other things including an apple. You have to realize this was 10:00 at night and I am usually in bed and really never eat past 7:00. So even with these little extras (I refuse to call them cheats) I am progressing well on the pre-op diet. I've dropped a couple more pounds but will record my weight on the Ticker next Wednesday.

Funny, this morning I slept in until 10:30 which is so rare, I was shocked. I am usually awake at 6:30 am! I guess my body is in some sort of denial and figures if I won't feed it, it might as well sleep. 10 days of shakes left to do!

Scales—What is Our Real Weight

I’m sitting at my computer at work chomping on radishes, cucumber, celery and broccoli (all low glycemic veges) smothered in salt, when I wondered how to really put down my starting weight. When I had my first consult with the doctor for banding, I weighed 209 pounds in their office. Before stepping on the scales that afternoon, I had eaten a huge lunch including a large diet pepsi, was fully clothed and what the heck, I didn’t even take off my shoes. So is 209 my “real” weight. I have seen that number in the past so will use it as my starting point. 209 has been sitting there on my Ticker countdown for weeks. Funny how the doctors register only the pounds/kilograms lost and not the other benefits (ie better strength, balance, lower BP, being able to run 5k). To them it always seems to be just a numbers game. But maybe we buy into the numbers too. We get depressed when they don’t go down or don’t go down fast enough! We don’t value that we have added exercise to our life or we have controlled the bingeing or that our clothes are less snug.

From now on I will use my spiffy glass scales at home as I think the most accurate weight is first thing in the morning, stark naked, alone in the closet which is what I did this morning (201.4). I have lost over 7 pounds! My estimate is really 4 pounds lighter but it looks nicer on the Ticker so I’ll take it—no shame, no apologies, no congrats needed. I will finally throw out my old scales which always registered 10 pounds lighter (I never saw a weight over 200—on them I was always in the 190’s). But the reality is that I do want a bit of accuracy from a real scale.

Tonight I look forward to roasting a bunch of low glycemic veges with some onions and garlic for a treat to go along with the shake. 5 shakes down, 37 to go.

And So it begins…

Day 1 of my liquid protein pre-op diet. First shake was delicious. I must remember this next week when I am gagging on the 35th chocolate shake. I decided to just get the chocolate shakes as the vanilla ones always have a funny taste. I chose this title because I am a huge fan of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. “And so it begins…” was said by King Theoden just before the battle of Helm’s Deep. He is viewing the attacking army of Uruk-hai warriors. All looks lost, the odd's insurmountable, the enemy is butt ugly, it begins to rain, they have little chance of success, BUT they win. Just like I will in this weight loss battle.

This two week pre-op diet is my Helm’s Deep. Oh don’t you just love when you can compare something you are doing to a movie. I know this is called something in literature but my brain is foggy (no sugar?) so can’t think of the English term. I think my fascination with the LOTR is not so much the movies but of Aragorn, the main character played by Viggo Mortenson.

And so it begins…1 down, 41 to go! Wish me luck.

Copycat WTTC

To begin, I noticed a bunch of new faces under followers. Thanks for visiting. I love to read your blogs and look forward to some inspiration each day. Please keep commenting so I can come visit your blog. I was reading the WTTC post from Gilly at somethingsomethingsomethingfatchick and started thinking about all the things I want WTTC. I'm being a bit of a copycat so I apologize in advance.

When the Time Comes (WTTC) I want to go into my doctor’s office and smile when he shows me perfect blood tests.

WTTC I will walk into Nygard fashions and turn right to choose the cute clothes in smaller sizes and not the big baggy XL and XXL when you turn left.

WTTC I will walk 5km and not have any knee or foot pain.

WTTC I will walk my daughter down the aisle in a beautiful Mother of the Bride dress.

WTTC I will travel more with my hubby and not be exhausted at the end of the day from walking.

WTTC I will eat what I want because I choose to and not because some unseen force is making me stuff junk in my mouth.

WTTC I will strut my new body in front of all those people who said “It Couldn’t be Done!” because it will be done.

WTTC I will cradle my grandchildren and watch them grow to adults because losing weight saved my life.

WTTC I will climb a small mountain because someone laughed at me once when I told them I wanted to do it.

…So what will you do WTTC?

Body Scans

Today's paper mentioned that more and more airports were installing Body Scan machines for passengers and privacy issues are being raised. Just because some guy lit his undies on fire (but I'm so glad everyone else was ok). This got me wondering how far the scan can see through the body and wondered if it could see the band wrapped around my stomach. So I googled some pictures and the first one that came up was called fatty-vs-skinny-scan. This is NOT what the airport scanner will be seeing but I thought it was really interesting. The scan on the left is of a 250 pound person and the one on the right is a 120 pound person. I noticed the "fatty" one had bent ankles. I know I am knocked knee'ed and can't put my feet together, so my scan may look similar.

The other pictures of airport body scanners look like they only see through our clothes and can't really go past the skin layer so I guess our secret is safe. Can you imagine someone wondering why we have this ring wrapped around our stomach? Thank god we don't have to "declare" the fluid as part of what we can carry on the plane, although it is still under the 4 ounces that is allowed on carry-on!

I still have a bad cold, my DH slept on the couch last night but I know I will be getting better soon in time for surgery in two weeks. Trying to stay positive.

I'm Sick

I now have a full blown cold and my nose won't stop dripping. My DH poked me all night to tell me to stop snoring and breathing heavily. I wanted to tell him to go sleep elsewhere but I was so stuffed up I didn't care. Of course today I am exhausted and had meetings all day at work so couldn't call in sick. I've been taking Tylenol but it doesn't work very well. I need aspirin but can't take it since I am close to my surgery.

OK, the rant is over. One good sign is I don't feel like eating and I still have a few days to binge before I start my liquid protein shakes next Wednesday. So no binge tonight.

All is ready for my surgery. Physical done, bloodwork done, consent faxed to clinic, money transfered to clinic, hotel booked, protein shakes all lined up in the box to start. All ready, just the wait.

I've told DH that he has to come with me to Toronto and given him the date many times. So he calls me this morning to confirm that he has someone to teach his Karate class on February 17th. Problem is my surgery is February 10th. I think when I remind him that we are leaving on the 9th he will still be surprised and ask where we are going. He is behind me 100% so having to remind him every once in a while isn't too bad. Besides when I forget to tell him something, I just pretend it was his memory, and he just forgot! LOL.

Gotta go blow my nose. Sorry TMI.

Doing It!

I'm sitting here reading everyone's entries and love the inspiration. The You Can Do It! post on Sally's Journey today is so uplifting that I know that I am going to Do It!

This past weekend was such fun. We visited with a good friend of mine at their country home. Since she and my DH share a January birthday, her husband and I cooked a lovely dinner for the two of them made even better with the multiple bottles of wine we consumed. I could only tell her that I was having surgery to repair a hiatus hernia (which is partly true) but couldn't fess up to the lapband. She is a tiny little person, about 5' tall and about 100 pounds. She is a runner and it is hard sometimes when we stand side by side and I feel like I am towering over her at twice her size. I added a picture of the two of us last fall but blanked out her face. Mine is real!

We went for a long snowshoe trek through the forest with her 80 year old father. He put me to shame as I lagged behind, but at least I kept going and felt great afterwards. I have had plantar's fasciitis for the last year but have been pain free for about 2 weeks so hope I am finally over it and can get back on the treadmill.

My friend has watched as I have struggled with losing weight but she really doesn't understand completely. She frequently comments that it is what you eat and getting in enough exercise. Surprise-I didn't know that. NOT! She has her own worries right now and she has always been there for me, so eventually I may tell her the truth but I wonder if others ever tell all. I think I will still be very selective as to who I confide in because many just won't understand. Except my fellow bloggers. Thanks for your support