Panic Attacks and Baking Day

Last night I had a panic attack. It was a culmination of work and some upsetting news from my sister. It's been awhile since that has happened but it can be very exhausting. I almost called in sick this morning but braved the day and fumbled through work. Funny but the band didn't let me eat much last night. Except for the half bag of Hershey Kisses.

Now you will ask why I even had them in my house. Well... I had to fill the countdown calendars for the 25 days til Christmas. Not sure how I feel about Christmas this year. I've been putting off the decorating but am determined to put up the tree tomorrow night. I've decided it will go up in our basement, the basement that we have spent the last two months fixing up as a media room.

We have this big honkin' 92" projection screen. Can you say size envy. I love it. I gave DH a hassle about getting a big screen but Wow, oh Wow. I love it. Which has kept me on the couch for the last few nights watching all my favourite shows. And munching on Kisses. They're gone now and my DH and son each have their own countdown calendar full of kisses.

Saturday the 4th is baking day. It started a few years ago when my sister, nieces and my daughter and I got together to bake. Lots of stuff. A couple of years, my other two sisters and my sister-in-law came along. Exhausting. And so much sugar and butter.

So this year we decided to cut back on the sweets and teach our kids how to make pastry. We'll make some tourtiere (meat pies), tarts, peanut butter balls, ginger cookies, walnut cookies and a few other things. I made some fruit cookies last weekend and could only eat 2 before I was "full". Strange how the band is working. The weight loss may be turtle slow but at least I'm not gaining. After this weekend, I might avoid the scale.

Here is about half of the baking we did last year.

We all had our own handmade aprons made by my Martha Stewart sister.

Til next time ladies and gents...

And She’s Off…

169.6

It's over—the 2 month plateau is officially over. (I was 170.4 on September 24th, the day I left for Chicago). In the two months since, my weight bounced to a high of 176 and down to 171 but not once did I get the breakthrough I was looking for into the 160’s.

I have my sweet spot back and have lost my appetite after my fill of 0.1cc on Nov. 8th. There are days that I have actually forgotten to eat! I will also say I am back on Wellbutrin and don’t know if that had anything to do with my appetite. I was basically eating out of control until my fill and I was sad. Since then the scale has been nudging slowly down until 169.6 appeared on the scale this morning—a number I haven’t seen since I was on weight loss drugs in the 90’s.

There was no magic. In fact I ate terribly on Thursday as those of you in the States chowed down on Thanksgiving turkey. Here is my confession:

• Coffee, 4 fiber cookies,
• ~ 1 cup fish and mashed potato pie
• 100g Milk Chocolate bar from IKEA (~3 oz)
• KFC—1 thigh WITH skin, 10 French fries, container of green coleslaw
• 2 bowls of frozen yogurt with chocolate chips

Really. Up until yesterday I was eating pretty lean, low fat and small amounts. It seems that in the past if I have a very fat laden day, my body can’t seem to process the crap and I lose weight. I have never figured it out. And I didn’t have a heart attack. Brings back memories of the low-carb diets that recommended eating lots of bacon, eggs and steak.

I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving. The feast of food just might kickstart your next weight loss phase. Just wanted to let everyone know that plateau’s do end and fills are really important. I’m off…for the next 15 pounds.

WTTC

Way back last January before being banded, I posted this and decided it was time for me to review what will happen WTTC. I originally got the idea from Gilly and started thinking about all the things I want WTTC and wondered if maybe it was time...

When the Time Comes (WTTC)

• WTTC I want to go into my doctor’s office and smile when he shows me perfect blood tests. (almost there)
• WTTC I will walk into Nygard fashions and turn right to choose the cute clothes in smaller sizes and not the big baggy XL and XXL when you turn left. (done)
• WTTC I will walk 5km and not have any knee or foot pain. (done)
• WTTC I will walk my daughter down the aisle in a beautiful Mother of the Bride dress. (no engagement yet!)
• WTTC I will travel more with my hubby and not be exhausted at the end of the day from walking. (done)
• WTTC I will eat what I want because I choose to and not because some unseen force is making me stuff junk in my mouth. (done)
• WTTC I will strut my new body in front of all those people who said “It Couldn’t be Done!” because it will be done. (almost there)
• WTTC I will cradle my grandchildren and watch them grow to adults because losing weight saved my life. (none to date so I guess I will live long and prosper)
• WTTC I will climb a small mountain because someone laughed at me once when I told them I wanted to do it. (still on my list)

…So what will you do WTTC?

Trekking Downwards

This week has gone very well with the band. I had a tiny fill on Monday (0.1cc) and it has taken the munchies away. I can still eat solids morning, noon and night. Not stuck once. And my weight is back down to 172 from the 175lbs I saw last weekend (that number was the day after a big meal, dessert and lots of wine). So for all those struggling with eating your little hearts out, have a quick review and see if maybe you need a fill.

Someone asked this week how you know if a fill is needed. My first indication is NOT losing any weight. Then I look to see if I am eating too much. Check on the first. I have been stuck in the low 170's for two months. And I was eating way too much junk-chips, ice cream, chocolate... I was out of control. I can eat about a 1/2 to 1 cup of protein and a bit of veges and I'm good for about 3-4 hours. I am working on the no eating after 7:00 pm which I find helps me lose. Those extra calories (usually empty) just add up and stall my weight. I do start early at work and finish my coffee by about 8:00 am. I've been taking a two egg omelet with cheddar cheese for breakfast around 9 am and it goes down fine. Somedays, I have to take a bite or two and wait 5 or 10 minutes but I haven't been stuck or PBed in two weeks. Priming my band seems to be working. I can also eat chicken again and solid foods but my all time favourite food is chili. I could eat it three times a day. This time I made it with black beans. I was always a kidney bean girl but OMG, if you have never used black beans get ye to the store and buy cans and cans or them. I rinse them first before adding them to make a soup, stew, chili or whatever.

Today, our newspaper published the different activities for Remembrance Day (that's what we call it in Canada). The photo on the right is of the tombstone of an Unknown Canadian Soldier who died in France. It is now mounted in our War Museum and was positioned so the sun would shine on it at 11:00 am on November 11th. It is a small room for about 25 people. Since it was a sunny, warm day yesterday, it was especially brilliant to see.

I leave with this hope. That we will never forget those that fought for us in the past, those that are fighting now and for those who will take up the fight in the future.

We will remember.

Unknown Soldier

This tombstone formerly marked the grave of one of the 6,846 unidentified Canadian soldiers left on the fields of France and Belgium. The unknown soldier from this grave was removed from his resting place in Cabaret Rouge Cemetery, near Vimy Ridge, and re-interred at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Canada's National War Memorial in Ottawa in 2000. The tombstone now lies in the Memorial Hall of the Canadian War Museum, Ottawa.

Who Was Your First...

I am throwing this out to blogland. Get your heads out of the gutter dear ones. There seems to be a lot of newbies out in the world who would love to know how we got started. So answer the following three questions:

1. Who were the first people who started following your blog

• Gilly  (SSS Fat Chick. Are you jealous? She was my first!)
• TJ (Metamorphic Journey)
• Cara (The Dash)
• Debi (Hawaii Bound Bandster)
• Yana (Girl Meets Band)
• Jen (Jen is Gonna Lose It)
• Jess (The Little Bandit)

2. Who are my newest followers on my blog:

• Read (My Trek Downward): right now giving Drazil a run for funniest blogger-sorry dear little one!
• Libby (This One Time in Band Camp)
• Angela (A Better Me)
• Christina (Memoirs of a Daegu Fatty)
• Lisa (The Rest Of My Life )
• Lyla (Big Fat Professor): just in seconds ago!

2. Do you remember the first blog you read?

• Gen (i heart the band): in fact I was so flattered when she followed me back!

3. The first 10 bloggers that commented on my first few posts (other than those above)

• Amanda (The Road from FAT to Healthy)
• Caroline (Lonicera's LapBand)
• Band-Babe
• CeeJay (My Lapband Journal)
• Lynda (This Time Next Year)
• Jen (Jen's Lap Band Journey)
• Barbara (My "NEW LIFE" Rules)
• Work in Progress
• Maree and Jenny (Sisters Banded Together)
• Joey (Volume Control)
 

I couldn't stick to 10 so here are a few others who gave me such great comments just as I had surgery:  BiancaJ, SuperMegaAnna, Carmen, Nene, The Sweet Spot, Tina.

I found the easiest way to find all these people was to go to my Dashboard/Edit Posts where you can scroll to your earliest posts. Click on the Comments button to see those that were there at the very beginning. Sometimes I thought I was alone in this universe but you were there and it grew and grew and grew as the days and months evolved.

Kind of cool looking back and reading some earlier inspiration. Thanks all you oldies and newbies. I couldn't have gotten this far without you.

Baby I Love Your Way

Oprah has had some amazing guests on her show this week. Today Peter Frampton just played Baby I Love Your Way. 1976. I had just graduated from University and the world was my pearl (or is that oyster?).

But the best version of the song was on his live album. And today he doesn't have much hair. But then neither does my DH. And I still love him.

 

The rest is of this week I'll do in bullets:

• My heart ached on Monday when Portia de Rossi (now deGeneres) talked about her anorexia and bulimia. And having to hide that she was gay. Her book is moving and in it she tells how she gave up dieting of any sort. She's on Ellen today.
• I can eat again. Yup. Everything. I haven't been stuck for almost two weeks so the priming my band by eating or drinking something 5-20 minutes and then waiting has worked. In fact too much. I have been enjoying pasta, bread, english muffins. A bit too much. I still want to be able to eat every food, but I am eating way too much. So I booked a small fill for next Monday. Maybe a top up of 0.1cc. I know, I'm weird. That tiny little bit can get me to my sweet spot and cut the cravings. I'm up about 4 pounds from my lowest and know I need the band to help me stop gaining.
• It snowed here last week and we might get more on the weekend. I need a new winter coat as my one from last year is huge.
• I get cold. Really cold. I used to keep the furnace at about 18C (65F) and I was still hot and sweaty. Last night I boosted the furnace to 22C (74F), put on my flannel pants, flannel nightgown and fluffy socks. Then I covered myself with a blanket. Now I understand why people used to complain about how cold my house was.
• Baking Day is almost here. For years, my family has gotten together to bake goodies for Christmas. This year it is December 3rd but we are having a planning meeting next Thursday. I have a sister who is a bit of a planner (said with a straight face) and likes to have things organized. Last year she had to buy 26 pounds of butter for all our treats. We are cutting back this year. Only 5 of us and we think that we will just make a few cookies, squares and appetizers. None of us need all that crap stuff in our bodies anymore.
• Shout out to Grace. I've missed you posting up to 5 times a day. I know, you are busy, busy, busy. No pressure. Just leave me a comment (LOL). And CindyLew, where art thou. Amy? Kagead? And... (please add your name here if you are missing in blogland). Know we miss you. Joey, thanks for the vlog. I was feeling lost.
• My work blocked Blogger but I can still read your posts through Google Reader. But I can't see the pictures so I've had to wait until I'm home to see all the cutie kids in Hallowe'en costumes. And Gen has been showing off her tush. I haven't been able to comment much but I'm trying. A bunch of newbies have made themselves known and I've been enjoying reliving the novelty of the band again.
• We're going out for dinner at a friends house Friday night. They have a big honkin' projection TV (one of those 10x 6) screens, so hope we see a good movie. We too are installing the big screen, hopefully before Christmas. I love movies. The louder the better. My favourite was the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I've seen them all about 25 times each. Can't wait to rewatch them again on the big screen at home in a comfy chair.
• November 11th is Remembrance Day here in Canada. I get the day off because I work for the government. Take a minute and wear a poppy to show we will NEVER forget.
• One last thing. Gilly had knee surgery today, so go show her some love and get well wishes.
• One last last thing. I went to the gym for the second time last night. Go me!

That's it. Have a great weekend. And be very thankful that snow isn't in the forecast.

I Went to the Gym and Nasty Mail

I actually got my @ss out the door and went back to the gym. There were plenty of excuses not to go but then I stepped on the scale and that gave me the motivation to move.

I haven't been to the gym since August. Early August. But I went today and did 20 minutes on the elliptical with a few intervals. I don't make goals as I never keep them so I'm going to make the gym a routine and hopefully the gym will be my friend again.

Then I came home and checked the mail. This is what came today. Toblerone-topped caramel cheesecake. Oh the inhumanity.

If you really want the recipe, click on the picture.

After my weeks of feeling stuck almost daily, all has been well for the last week. Maybe too well as I am eating way too much. I just finished sushi without problem. I take a few bites of food, then wait for 5-30 minutes and I can eat the rest. But I'm hungry about 2 hours later. I think I need a teeny tiny fill again.