I Wasn’t Fat Enough

I just had a call from a company that tries to get reimbursements from my private insurance company to cover the cost of the Lapband (not surgery costs). I was rejected—I wasn’t fat enough. She told me their cut-off is a BMI > 35 and mine came in at 34. Didn’t matter that I had a bunch of co-morbidities. Money isn’t really the issue here. I chose the band to keep me from dying young. So what is a few thousand dollars when you can be around for years longer. My kids still tell me, and have for years, that they get to choose my nursing home. Ha to them. I’ll be around longer and healthier than they thought. And the cost of the lapband just came out of their inheritance.

I grew up in the era of Twiggy (see picture) and I guess I have always thought I was terribly fat, but that'll be another post. In a weird way it is strange to hear someone tell me I’m not fat enough. I guess this is actually an NSV. I’m not fat. Oh, and they aren’t coming to repo my band.

In other news, I don’t think I need to go for an un-fill. Since the vomiting incident on Tuesday, I have stuck to liquids and today the spasm/pain in my port is almost gone. The nurse at the clinic called back and said if it didn’t improve to go to my doctor to have an un-fill. Looks like I will be fine and just have to learn to eat slower and chew, chew, chew. I was able to eat some meatloaf and squash tonight.  I did remember that on Monday night I had most of a chicken burrito which had rice and corn in it. After reading a few posts I found out that corn might be indigestible and maybe it contributed to the stuck feeling. This learning is getting harder. Someday I’ll have a Ph.D. in banding, but first I have to get out of the remedial class.

Happy St. Paddy’s Day

I have a bit of Irish blood in me from way back when but today everyone gets to be Irish!

May the Irish hills caress you.

May her lakes and rivers bless you.

May the luck of the Irish enfold you.

May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

~Traditional Irish Blessing

I had hoped to be sitting in a pub this afternoon for a little celebration, but had a really bad day yesterday. Since my fill last week, I have been learning the chew, chew, chew—only had a couple of stucks but I am really tight in the morning. I ate a hard boiled egg yesterday morning followed by two hours of agony, sliming, pain, vomiting. Lasted all day and I am now on fluids. I don’t think it helped that I also had a root canal in the middle of the afternoon. Done in by the stress. I am waiting for some advice from the nurse at the clinic to see if I should just wait this out or go in for an unfill. Feeling much better today, but had to take another day off work and am sticking to fluids. Scares the bejeebers out of you though. I also got these uncontrollable hiccups. And most of the night these little bubbles kept coming out like when you eat Pop Rocks (Ashli named them that). It was strange though—only popped when I was lying on my left (port) side.

So even though today is a day to enjoy a good beer (and I do!), I’ll be sticking to milkshakes, soup and water (maybe with a bit of green food colouring). I will be driving the DH to a pub and be his designated driver but don't think I'll be able to handle the crowds and food and not being able to drink a beer.

I also saw a great posting today by JackSh*t, Getting’ Fit explaining what he thinks are interesting posts. Roo and Andrew—he’s another guy blogger you can follow if you haven't already found him. Today he mentioned when talking about weight loss that “Everyone's got their own "how", but the "why's" always seem to be singular and unique”. I have to agree that the posts I enjoy most are the ones where someone has had a lightbulb moment and figured something out. This weight loss is a journey of discovery which is why I depend on those that have gone before me to share these experiences so I can help discover mine. I need to think on this some more but will try to do the "Why’s and Wherefores" post in the next few days.

It's My Birthday!

Today is my birthday. The Ides of March but the weather is really nice here (14C or mid fifties F). Warm, sunny and the snow is almost gone. I don’t feel much older but then I thought I was already this age last November until my DH corrected me—I had added a year by mistake. I also did the same “added a year” when I was 42. That entire year I told people I was 43 and on my next birthday, I got to stay the same. Can I give you a secret. Age is a state of mind. The body may start to show some strange changes as you age but the saddest is when I see someone who is mentally old. I like to think I am not even close to that happening. Have fun and laugh and you don't age.

Here is my Horoscope for today: Your sensitivity will be tested this year. Concentrate on keeping things in perspective and maintaining balance by using moderation in all aspects of life. Change is upon you and, to make it favorable, you must move slowly towards your goals.Too much, too fast will lead to setbacks and failure.

I think it has something to do with my band. I can read almost anything into my horoscope! As to my age, to challenge all you math enthusiasts out there, I have instituted a new numbering system for birthdays. A while back a friend mentioned that once you turn 50, you should be able to start the count backwards, sort of like in the movie Benjamin Buttons. So 51=49, 52=48, 53=47… Thus I am declaring I am now 44 (you figure out the math—answer below). I'm not sure if this is really a good thing—it is almost like a countdown to death—like you only have 44 more years left on this planet—but I will be one thin chick with my lapband. Age 44 was one of the best years of my life and one of the few years I could say I was happy with my weight (about 155 lbs). It was also the year I changed careers and trained in computer support which led me to a great job. 

We will probably go out to dinner tonight so I will have to find a good "band friendly" restaurant. Sunday dinner with my daughter was nice. She brought steak but I ended up cooking some chicken for me. I was also able to eat asparagus, broccoli and a few roasted potatoes. So yummy—I really have missed veges. The chew, chew, chew, slowly seems to be the trick with the band. Duh! I think I read that in a few of your blogs. They also brought a Blizzard cake from Dairy Queen as her BF thought I would be able to eat ice cream easily—what a nice guy. I was able to eat a small piece. Funny how ice cream can slide right through the band. I have one small piece left for today.

Answer: Today I am 56 years young!

Just One More Bite

I’ve decided that my fill did me good and I hope it lasts. I’m down 2 pounds since Tuesday and I didn’t realize til today that I have now lost 10% of my weight and hope to reap some health benefits however small it may be. I honestly thought a measly 1cc (total of 4cc in a 10cc band) wouldn’t be all that earth shattering, but what a difference. I have restriction and can’t eat a lot of food. Friday night’s pizza was just a memory of a tiny slice eaten, then trying just one more bite—3 hours of pain. Last night I was able to eat a cup of chicken parmesan noodles, although it took me almost an hour to eat, chew, eat, chew, chew, chew. This morning I am still restricted after an egg and half a slice of toast. WARNING: if you feel that pain and think a glass of water will wash it down—NO! Don’t do it. For those wondering about the feeling of being stuck or full, it’s like swallowing a big candy by mistake. The esophagus/stomach goes into spasm, there is pain and no matter how you want it to just go down, it won’t. Like the candy, when it has dissolved you feel relief, the same as the food moving through to the bottom of the stomach. Band Groupie posted a neat picture of the stoma of the little pouch, so if you missed it make sure you take a look—it isn't just a big hole. I am learning not to take that one more bite—something hard to do since I am so used to just stuffing my mouth without thought. It’s going to take me a lot more time to get into that habit. I have come to the realization that I won’t be able to eat big bites and that it will take me a long time to eat just a little bit. As I ate my measly cup of food last night, I watched two episodes of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. For those who haven’t seen the show the host is Guy Fieri (from Guy’s Big Bite). He tours around the States looking for good food in Diners, Drive-ins and Dives—but the quantities are huge. He always tries these wonderful looking dishes and takes this humongous bite of food. He would have finished my measly little 1 cup in 1 bite! I love him—he is hilarious and fun and has this real cool spikey blond hair. He is always cooking with Sonoma County’s best—wine.

I’ve been able to catch up on a lot of blogs over the last few days and am staying motivated by all the posts I read. Some of you are wondering how to keep up with reading blogs. If you haven’t discovered Google Reader, I find it the easiest to see the most recent posts from a blog. If you open your Dashboard, in the bottom right hand corner is a link to View in Google Reader. It highlights post that haven’t been read. When I am away for a bit of time, I’m not able to read everything so just click on the button Mark All as Read and it starts again.

Daylight Savings Time has just sprung our clocks forward here. We lost an hour. It will be so hard getting up for work tomorrow morning and they say that accidents increase the Monday following the time change. The only time I loved losing that hour was when I worked the midnight shift and we lost the hour between 2:00 and 3:00. Oh well, it will be lighter out tonight until after 7:00 pm so that’s a good thing and in 5 days we will have more than 12 hours of light at the Spring equinox. It’s so all those farmers can stay out in their fields ploughing later in the day! And tomorrow—the Ides of March—is my birthday—I’ll be posting some thoughts about that tomorrow. My daughter and her boyfriend are bringing steaks over tonight for dinner. Not that I’ll be able to eat it but at least I’ll enjoy the company. She also decorates cakes and said she is bringing a special dessert for me. Here is one she made last year for the BF’s Birthday—he loves Super Mario. Well it is now 12:00 (actually only 11:00) so I best get off the couch and have a shower.

Before I go, good luck to Ashli who is having surgery on Monday, March 15th. You’ll do great! And see you on the other side!

Protein Drink = Laxative

I decided to post what I ate today. Since having my first fill on Tuesday afternoon I have had some trouble with solids so decided that fluids would be best. You can stop right now as it might be a bit ewwww.

    ~8:00 am: 2 mugs black coffee (I like it strong)
    ~10:00 am: 1 protein shake (those hideous pre-op drinks)
    ~11:00 am: 5 tiny, miniature crackers with peanut butter
    ~12:00 pm: everything flushed down the toilet

So I guess I get to start again don’t you think since I really haven’t had anything today. I don’t know what they put in my protein shakes because almost everytime I drink them, I am immediately headed for the can. I think I should just forgo drinking them and just pour them down the toilet. Sorry Drazil —I wasn’t able to do the butt-clench at work but also didn’t have time to bring any reading material (or laptop) with me either. Oh and if anyone needs a good cleanout, I’d be happy to share my protein drink. OK guys, TMI. It’s over.

There you have it. Moving to mushies for a day or two to sort this restriction out. And maybe a glass or three of wine when I get home tonight.

Happy Dance times 20

20 pounds lost for good. I finally got to move my ticker after three weeks staying the same. It took so long for that last pound but it is gone for good. Still obese but not for long.

Happy Dance!!

Stuck—OMG the Pain!

I listen and learn so much from my blogger friends especially those that write about getting stuck, slimming and PBing (Power Burping for those new to the terminology). In most cases I only have to read to learn something but sometimes I only learn by actually doing. You might notice a theme for pictures I have with cats—this one stuck in a Guiness glass. I luv 'em.

OK, I have learned. You told me. Not that I didn’t listen. Major pain today one day after my first fill. I had been able to eat almost anything up until yesterday and then BAM, not much goes down. For breakfast I had coffee and watery oatbran and I was full for hours. Lunchtime came and I was able to eat about 2 tsp chicken salad on tortilla chips when the discomfort started so I stopped. A couple of hours later, I thought "lets try the tiny bran muffin I had made" (these are like 1 inch square). Owwwww! Bright me thought I’d just wash it down with some water. Owwwwwwwwww! I think the muffin acted like a sponge because now I could feel a big lump above my stomach, pain and me ready to foam at the mouth. Off to the washroom where I sat in a cubicle spitting into toilet paper (quietly so the others wouldn’t hear) for 5 minutes. One thing which actually worked was coughing. I guess the pressure pushed it down a bit but the pain stayed and radiated to my left shoulder.

Three hours later the pain is almost gone. I am now at home and sticking to fluids. Well I just opened a bottle of red wine and am sipping it. Wine is a fluid and after reading the link I posted yesterday about how wine can help you lose weight, I’m sticking to that for awhile.

Lesson learned—at least I knew what was going on and knew it would pass thanks to reading all the blogs from experienced bandsters. Too bad it was one of those experiences where I had to learn hands on. Guess I have restriction after my fill. I just hope it lasts. My advice to those newbies who have not had the stuck experience: I hope you learn from reading other bandsters and don’t need to feel it first hand. But if you do, know that it will pass. And wine really helps.

As a followup to the 4 pricks of the needle it took to get my fill: Really, Really, REALLY it did not hurt. I only felt one needle and it felt like a mosquito bite. The stuck episode today was more painful than I could have imagined. On Monday, I had a root canal and that was so painful (she needed to give me freezing 10 times with the needle). Childbirth was easier and I have to go back next week for her to finish. At least the nerves are gone! So anyone going for a fill—it is really, really easy peasy! Don't for a minute worry.

I also have to post a link to Michelle who posted the most awesome, heart wrenching and enlightening post today. I hope you don't mind. I am so proud that you shared this with us and I mean it when I say we really do care. I had to lie to the person who saw my tears that there must be some dust in the air making my eyes water. Go you! And thanks for sharing.