Gobsmacked about the Royal Wedding

Is anyone else excited about the Royal Wedding on Friday.

I am.

I've been glued to the TV watching all sorts of specials on William and Kate and also a repeat of Charles and Diana's wedding in 1981. I too was married in 1981 and remember the excitement. That was before VCRs, PVRs...

We had to get up really early to watch.

I just programmed the Wedding Special starting at 3:00 am Friday morning. The Wedding actually starts at 6:00 am EST (11:00 am GMT on London). They even have a website.

Oh the excitement. The dress. The flowers. The kiss. The fascinator hats! It takes me back 30 years, puffy sleeves and miles of wedding dress. All that's missing is Princess Diana. She'd be thrilled.

I know, I'm a bit of a romantic but I love the Royals. The Queen is also the Queen of Canada and no matter what she's still a great lady.

Caught Red Handed

My sister came to visit for Easter so we did a bit of shopping on Saturday. And made a stop at the Liquor Store to stock up on wine (we can't buy spirits, beer or wine at the corner store). The store is called the Liquor Control Board of Ontario (LCBO). 

I go up and down the aisles looking for bottles with nice labels (I am such a visual selector) and merrily select a bunch of reds and whites.

I have 17 bottles in my cart when I hear this voice asking if I should be drinking so much. I look up and meet the eyes of my Family Doctor. Yup, the one I saw last week and needs to see me again because of my terrible blood work. We smile, I check his cart (full of beer) and we have a little laugh.

His parting words were, "I guess I should check the liver function results".

Oh well. I hear wine is good for the heart and cholesterol. Now which one of my 17 bottles should I open?

I hope everyone had a Happy Easter. I'm off until Tuesday. A lovely 4 day weekend.

Not a Happy Camper

Not at all happy. I saw my family doctor last Friday and heard back yesterday about some of my bloodwork.

WTF!!

I lose 20% of my body weight and my cholesterol went from 6.4 to 8.1 (sorry my US Pals, I don't know the measurement you use). Just know it was high and is now very very high to the point that I will now have to go on drugs to lower it.

WTF!!

My BP didn't go down at all and we have now doubled my blood pressure meds to see if we can lower it. And that is after losing 20% of my fat.

I see my doc on May 16th (he's on vacation for the next three weeks). I'm hoping that my other results are better and normal. Liver enzymes, blood sugars, B12, Thyroid. Of course I googled all sorts of things and found out I have a 8% chance of dying in the next ten years. Yup all those medical sites have these calculators to figure out risk. That means that out of 100 people with the same risks as me (high cholesterol, high BP), 8 of those people will be dead from heart disease in the next 10 years.

I know being in menopause may be one cause. Hereditary another. Losing more weight might help a bit by reducing the weight I carry around my gut. I also want to see if my thyroid is normal as high cholesterol is something that shows up in hypothyroidism. I have so much work still to do. No more sitting on my laurels and just accepting this weight. And I will also get off my bum and get walking.

So I asked for another re-fill to get me back to my green spot, because losing another 20 pounds is no longer an option but a necessity. I'm waiting for the clinic to call me back after Easter to discuss. I had a 0.5 cc unfill in early March and last week got a refill of 0.2 cc. I asked for another 0.2 cc so will see.

The only thing that makes me feel better is that I may have been in even worse shape if I hadn't lost the weight. But seriously, just call me...

Measurements

Measuring time here in the cold, cold north!

Still have lots of work to do on the mid-section but that will go down with the walking and exercise. I do find it interesting that I seem to lose an inch somewhere on my body for every pound I lose.

Advice for any newbies. Take your measurements and lots of photos. Weight isn't the only thing that changes.

My Motivation

In early March I bought a new pair of N!ke shoes but wasn't able to get out to enjoy a lovely walk in the park until last weekend (in reality, I couldn't get my @ss off the couch) .

But...

I am in love.

With my N!ke $ensor.

You pop it in the hole under the sole and then use the N!ke app on either the iPhone or the  iTouch.

One little amazing product. As I walk it figures out how far I have gone and then when I get home, it uploads to the Nike site to record my distance, time and calories. I've hooked it to my F@cebook page and it will give a status update at the same time. I have a goal to make 12 walks this month and already have 3 down, 9 to go.

The only little wrinkle is that it keeps saying I ran and I haven't figured out how to tell it I am actually only walking. Well I guess walking is just slow running so I'll have to just leave it.

You don't need N!ke shoes to use the sensor. You can get a generic holder which attaches to your shoe but you do need the iTouch or iPhone to record the info.

If you want a little motivation do try it.

Best thing I ever bought.

Actually not. I also got myself a Pandora bracelet to celebrate the weight I've lost so far. It is a basic silver Pandora bracelet with 1 bead on it for now.

Analogies & Positive Reinforcement

Lapband Gal posted this today and since my comment would have been really long, I decided to reply on my blog since it hit a chord with me. Here is the comment a good friend left for her:

"Losing all the weight has got to be like having one's legs amputated above the knee. You are viewed so differently by others, treated so differently by others, and you have to relearn how to do many things in your life. It has to be a lot of mental work."

I know some may have been a bit shocked at the analogy but I think it goes to how people who are "different" are treated. I had a mother who was in a wheelchair, paralyzed with Multiple Sclerosis for her last 30 years. People stared when I took her to the mall. I have a BIL who will soon be 50 and has also been in a wheelchair due to Cerebral Palsy. He needs care for most basic needs but he still lives on his own. It is really hard to understand him when he speaks but he still tries. Sometimes we ignore him because it is too much effort to try to communicate. One of the guys I work with is visually impaired yet he still reads all his e-mails on a special screen and font huge and has an amazing sense of humour. But I sometimes feel embarrassed when I say things like "look at that, can you believe it" or other stupid vision related sayings.

But I also believe "seeing" someone with a disability can also make them invisible. Someone with an amputation: I am sure many of us would stare although we would try to do it unobtrusively. The same with fat people (yes I said it). There are fat people in this world and I being one was made to feel invisible. I tried to hide it but it was always the elephant in the room. Would anyone ever go up to an amputee and say, OMG you don't have any legs. Not really. I never remember someone saying, OMG you are fat! But there are so many other ways that we picked up the non-verbal reactions.

So yes, we are viewed differently by others, treated differently by others, and have to relearn how to do many things in life. We did this when we were at our fattest, on our way down and for some of us we aren't sure if we have actually "reached the end" in our weightloss.

But will it change? I doubt it. We will always look at ourself differently even when we actually are not very different. An amputee can sometimes have phantom pain or "feel" like their limb is still present. I think those of us who have been fat will always feel that way. There really is a lot of mental work to see ourselves. And I am trying to actually "see" myself.

Stephanie posted about saying nice things to yourself. Sort of a Say it til you believe it!

So here I am to say, I am not fat. I am pretty. I am a good person who strives to be fair and compassionate. I am a great mom and wife. I am learning to love myself no matter how many lumps and bumps I see in the mirror. They are what make me, ME. I love to speak my mind and am trying to listen more. My favourite expression is: Beauty is what health & happiness looks like on the outside.

That's all...

Oprah's Master Class: The Lessons

A small  epiphany. As I lazed around on Saturday surfing the TV channels, I came upon Oprah's new network (OWN) and the series called:

OMG, can someone say lifechanging?

A few weeks ago, Drazil gave us the question: "Who had or has had the greatest impact on your life?" Even though I didn't do BYOC that week, I did think about that one question and all that would pop in my head was Oprah. Not sure why but I have admired her for years. We were born in the same year (1954) and the same month (March). She's black, I'm white. She struggles with her weight and so do I. She has curly hair and so do I. She has scads of money, but sadly I don't. But I admire her insight and what she has done with her life.

This series is amazing. I was stunned by her commentary. It resonated to the depth of my soul. If you get a chance to watch her Master Class, please do or go to the website and read the various "lessons". You can watch the various videos.

Here is the link: Oprah's Master Class Lessons.

• Wake Up Curious
• Stay True to Yourself, No Matter What
• Be a Blessing to Somebody
• Find Your Passion
• Go For Excellence
• The Upside of Hard Times
• Open to the Unexpected
• Trust Your Instincts
• Reinvent Yourself
• The Connections That Sustain Us: You cannot survive in this world by yourself.

The last one was one of my favourites. Blogging has given me a connection to you guys that sustains me. I would not be where I am today without knowing you through your blogs.

I wish I had taped the interview but there will be other people profiled over the next few months (Maya Angelou, Diane Sawyer and a bunch of others). It is a show that I will record as I seek my purpose in life (one of the reasons I posted about seeing a psychic).

But maybe it is just seeking the answers inside me. And being reflective.

Either that or I need therapy really bad.
  

The Buzz

The Buzz around blogland is about the Dr. Oz show. I haven't had a chance to see the show but get the general gist of what was presented. Basically a question arose whether the band is good for someone with only 50 pounds to lose (OMG that was ME!).

Well duh! If you want to pay for the surgery then why not. Is it any different from signing up for WW, Jenny, Optifast, Herbal Magic or any of the other expensive "weight loss" products out there and putting your body through a tormenting time. I am here to say, they do not work for the long term. There was also the comment about the two women with the band who basically ate nothing.

As I have blogged in other posts, I have tried almost all the types of diets mentioned above (including some companies that are now bankrupt). Yes my sweets, I been around for a long time and have been "on a diet" for 44 years before choosing the band. If any of these diets worked don't you think after all those years I would have had some success! I am a firm believer that it isn't about the food. I have a lot of brain work to do to lose and keep off this weight. The band is my buddy, my conscience, my friend.

My feeling about diets is the following from Albert Einstein (who in my opinion was a pretty smart guy)

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Now here I am, 1 year 2 months from being banded so maybe do not have the right to say the band is a success for me. Yet. 

• My starting BMI was 34. Now it is about 27.
• I was self pay to the tune of $16,000. (I get a few thousand back from my income tax)
• I pay $50 for each fill (free if I go back to my clinic but it is too far to drive, although Gilly is nearby)
• I have lost just over 40 pounds (started at 209 lbs (highest was 215 lbs) and am now ~168 lbs)
• My goal is under 155 lbs but will see how my body feels about that.
• I had high BP and still do.
• I had high liver enzymes from a fatty liver and they are not as bad now.
• I can move around a lot better than I used to. 

I eat what I want but the band stops me from eating too much. When I have proper restriction, I can eat about 1/2 -1 cup of the following:

• Breakfast: scrambled eggs, omelet, fiber bar, milk, cheese slices 
• Lunch & Dinner: chili, chicken stew, beef stew, fish, grilled cheese, mostly leftovers, cooked veges, most fruits except I usually have no room. No "dry" meats/chicken

Junk food: almost everything (chips, chocolate, ice cream) but with the band I don't get the cravings if it is adjusted right.
The absolute NO's: pasta, bread (I used to so love a nice warm baguette), raw veges, hamburgers, sandwiches, pizza (unless it's crispy crust, then maybe a small piece).

Guess what: Most of the NO's are ones that are refined starches that we are supposed to cut out anyway.

I chew for probably a minute for each bite until it is almost liquid. It is the one thing I do well.

I had an unfill of 0.5 cc in early March. I think the flying to and from Mexico caused the band to slam shut. It's been over a month and I can eat almost all those NO foods above, even a nice warm baguette. I am going back for a small 0.2 cc fill on Monday morning so hope to get that green zone/sweet spot back.

So to those wondering if it is good to have the band when you are at the lower end of the BMI scale, I say go for it. I know I will live so many more years without a disability because I chose this route. I may not be what some people think is skinny, but I am still a work in progress. It isn't magic but it sure is nice to walk in a store and buy a top in medium.

(YUP! NSV alert: I can wear a medium top! Down from a XXL).

I think Dr. Oz (and Oprah) need to read some of our blogs.